Inner Warrior || Seungbin ✔️

3

Incoming Call: Kim Seungmin
Answer | Decline

"Hey, what's up?" Changbin answers, setting his cup of water back down on his coffee table. It was the night after; Seungmin hadn't contacted him once until now.

"Can we get rid of his stuff now?" His voice was unstable; Changbin could easily decipher that.

"Yeah, sure. You got boxes or bags?"

"Yeah."

"I'm on my way. Be there soon."

It only took ten minutes to get there. The entire time, Changbin was thinking about ways to talk to him without him shutting down. He wanted his friend to realize the mistake he was making. The mistakes he has been making.

When Seungmin opened the door, you could see his flushed cheeks and tear stains. He didn't try washing his face; he didn't give a fuck how he looked.

They started in his bedroom. First the clothing. The sweatshirts, t-shirts, sweatpants, even socks. Seungmin didn't care to ask if Junghee wanted it back. He was dumping them out.

"Do you still love him?" It was a simple question. The answer was the hard part.

"I don't know how to answer that." He picks up some jewelry, throwing it in the bag.

"Try."

The younger sighs, sitting back on the bed and holding his head in his hands. "I did love him, Bin. I did. Every time he left, it hurt just the same. At least, I thought it did. I can still cry over him, but I don't know how I feel anymore. Watching him smile at me like he knew I was lying about leaving him forever. It's like he knows he's playing me. I know he's playing me. But he knows I won't do anything about it. And that fucking hurts."

Changbin stops for a moment, glancing at the ground. "Then why are you so ready to accept him again? It won't lessen your pain. It'll make it grow until you're numb. Are you trying to make yourself numb to it? Are you trying to prove something to yourself or him?"

"I... I don't know. I love his company. I love his scent. I love his smile. I love everything about him. I can't stop thinking about him."

"Do you love those things or did you love those things? It's the matter of how it was and how it is, Seung. Don't you realize that? You're stuck in the fuckin past, and I think you already know that, but you're not doing anything to change it."

"I'm head over sneakers for him, Changbin."

"No, you're a damn fool in love. If you can even call it that. He doesn't love you. Why don't you understand that?"

"Yes, he does."

"Then why does he treat you like this? Use you for his needs. He knows he can get to you because you're easy. He manipulates you and you're all for it. You call that love?"

The taller doesn't answer because he knows Changbin is right. That isn't love. What love is, is what Changbin is doing for him. Fighting for him to live a better life. Trying to help him understand what toxicity is.

"There's a box of letters in the back of my closet from him. Can you get those?"

The elder sighs, listening to the directions. He scoots to the back, finding an old shoe box. He opens it without permission, taking some of the letters out and reading them.

What the fuck.