You're Like Coming Home

27.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Derek asked, squeezing Meredith's hand tightly as they stood outside her mother's house. It wasn't her house anymore. Home was now associated with New York, with the Shepherds.

"Yeah," she whispered, staring at the house she had lived in for thirteen years. "Yeah, I'm ready."

"It's alright if you're not, dear," Emma said softly. "There's no hurry."

"I want to do it now," Meredith nodded as she began moving towards the front door, Derek and his parents trailing behind her. "I want it to be over."

Derek placed a comforting arm around her shoulder as she took a deep breath and unlocked the front door, letting it swing open to reveal a foyer filled with boxes. She stepped inside cautiously and looked around, wondering where she should start.

"Well, it looks like your mother started your job for us," Michael said, trying to lighten up the situation. "Where do you want to start, Meredith?"

"Um...I guess we can start with these," she said. "I really don't want anything, but if you guys like any of the furniture, or you think Kath or Nancy would like it, you can totally take it, because then I wouldn't have to sell it, and..."

"Mer," Derek said gently. "It's okay. We're here for you, okay? So just take a few deep breaths, and if this all gets to be too much, we'll just take it back."

"Okay," she nodded. "Um...the bedrooms were packed up last time I was here, so it's really just my mom's study and the kitchen and the living room."

"Em and I can start in the kitchen," Michael said with a nod. "How about you start in the study?"

Meredith nodded. "Yeah, we can do that," she nodded. "I think...I mean, my mom probably packed stuff, but we can go through it just to make sure."

"Come on, Mer," Derek said, gently placing a hand on her back and letting her guide him towards her mother's study, shooting his parents a worried gaze over his shoulder. When they entered the study, Meredith took a deep breath and looked around at the stacks of boxes before she shook her head and said, "Let's just take them out to the truck. We can take them to the dumpster later."

Derek was surprised for a moment before he asked, "Mer, don't you want to keep some stuff? Medical notes or textbooks or anything?"

She sighed as she sat down on the floor. "We can look through them," she nodded. "This is hard, Derek."

"I know," he whispered, sitting down beside her. "I'm here."

She nodded as she pulled the box open and began pulling pictures out. "That's me," she whispered, pointing to the little girl proudly pulling on a red wagon.

"You were cute," Derek smiled softly. "Is that your dad?"

"Yeah. He left when I was five. My mom dragged me out here after that and I never heard from him again."

Derek looked at her closely for a moment, amazed that the girl who had suffered from such terrible parents had turned into the amazing, albeit skittish, woman that he was in love with. "I'm sorry, Mer," he murmured. "I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you."

She shrugged as she reached into the box again. "The pictures stopped after Seattle," she sighed. "Mom really wasn't that bad before then, at least from what I can remember. But after the man she was having an affair left her...she just wasn't interested in anything besides being a doctor. It's like she stopped herself from ever feeling anything, and she wanted me to be the same way."

"She was wrong, Mer," Derek said softly. "It's wrong to completely shut down like that. I hate that you had to grow up like that."

"It's okay," Meredith said, a smile finally gracing her lips. "Because if I had stayed in Seattle, I probably wouldn't have come out here for school, and we never would have met."