You're Like Coming Home

34.

Meredith sighed as she closed the door to the bathroom, sinking down to the floor and burying her face in her hands. For the past two weeks, Derek had been following her everywhere she went, and she had quickly learned that locking herself in the bathroom was the only way she was able to get any time to herself.

She knew he was worried about losing her, and he told her repeatedly how often he needed her, that he couldn't do it without her. She had wanted to be there for him, to help him through his father's death, but now she wasn't so sure she could do this. He was driving her crazy, but she couldn't very well tell him to stop worrying about her or to get over his father's death. She just had to get through this and hope that he would return to himself soon.

"Mer?" he knocked on the door and she closed her eyes tightly, hating herself for wishing that she was anywhere besides there. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she said after taking a moment to get herself under control. "I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay," Derek said.

She waited to hear him at least retreat to the living room or kitchen, but there were no footsteps, and she sighed, knowing he was waiting outside the door for her.

When his depression had lifted, she had thought they were finally going to get back to normal. His grades were getting back on track, he was even smiling and laughing more. He still talked to his mom on the phone everyday, but his visits home had decreased dramatically. To everyone else, Derek was getting his life back on track.

But he was always there.

She loved him, she really did, and she was pretty sure that was why she had been able to put up with this for so long. But she wasn't sure how much longer she could take this without snapping. She wanted to be able to go out with Addison and her other girlfriends without Derek tagging along, she wanted to go to class and come home to find him waiting for her, she wanted to be able to talk to him. Since he spent every second of every day attached to her side, she didn't even have anything to talk to him about since he experienced everything with her.

With a deep breath, she stood and leaned over to flush the toilet and run some water, trying to make it seem like she wasn't hiding from him. She closed her eyes and sighed deeply before she opened the door and saw Derek standing in front of her, a smile on his face.

"Hey," he said, following her into the kitchen. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Well, Addison is going out with the girls," Meredith said. "I was thinking I might go with them. Maybe you and Mark could go shoot some pool or whatever you guys do."

Derek frowned. "I don't want to go out with Mark," he said. "I want to stay with you."

Meredith sighed. It had been worth a try. "I know," she said. "It's just...it's a girl thing, Derek. You went last time and you were bored."

Derek smiled slyly as he pulled her closer to him. "Well, we could always stay in and have some fun of our own," he said, leaning down to kiss her neck.

Meredith closed her eyes as she moved her head to the side, trying to let his actions effect her in the way they usually did. Her attempts were futile, however, and she didn't feel any of the tingling sensation she usually felt when he kissed her.

"No," she said, pushing his hands off of her hips and stepping away from him.

"No?" Derek frowned.

"No," she repeated. "I want to go out. I don't want to stay in."

"Okay," Derek shrugged. "We can go out..."

"No," Meredith practically shouted. "I don't want us to go out. I want to go out. With my friends."