You're Like Coming Home

32.

Meredith paced the floor of her apartment, nibbling on her thumbnail as she looked out the window worriedly. Derek was late. He was later than late, and she was officially going to kill him. Once he was home, she was going to hug him, and then kill him herself.

In the month and a half since his father's funeral, Derek had changed dramatically. Once they'd come back to school, he'd driven home every weekend, sometimes even during the week, to make sure his mothers and sisters were okay, and although he told everyone he was doing fine, Meredith knew he was lying. He barely spent any time at home, and he was constantly keeping himself busy with completely mundane tasks that she knew he was using to cover his emotions.

"Have you heard anything?" Addison asked as she came out of the kitchen and handed Meredith a cup of tea.

"No," Meredith sighed, waving off the tea as she moved to look out the window again. "I haven't seen him since class ended at twelve thirty. He said he was going to work, but that was almost twelve hours ago."

"I'm sure he's fine," Addison assured her. "Mark's out looking and he probably will find him in the library or something."

"I hope so," Meredith breathed, collapsing onto the couch and biting her nails. "How could he do this to me?"

Before Addison could reply, the door swung open and Mark stormed in. "I can't find him anywhere," he announced. "Mer...I don't know what to do."

"I don't...." Meredith sighed as she leaned into the couch. "I'm not sure what we can do either. He won't listen to me about anything."

Mark sighed as he ran a hand over his face. "He's still taking this pretty hard," he said. "But he refuses to let anyone else think that."

"I don't know what to do," Meredith whimpered. "I hate seeing him like this, but I can't just tell him to get better. Not when I don't know how to get better either."

Addison moved to sit on the couch beside Meredith. "I think he just needs people to stand by him while he works this out," she said. "He needs...he has to know that you're here for him, that we all are. And eventually, he'll be back to himself."

"What if he doesn't?" Meredith whispered. "Because I know it sounds horrible, but...I'm not sure that I can be in love with this Derek."

Before either one of them could say anything, there was the sound of a motorcycle roaring down the street and Addison rolled her eyes. "You'd think people would at least be respectful if they want to try to kill themselves," she said. "It's two in the morning, people are trying to sleep."

Meredith smiled slightly, but it didn't reach her eyes as she chewed on her thumbnail. "He hasn't even called," she exclaimed. "He doesn't even have the decency to call! I'm going to kill him."

"Maybe you should call Emma," Addison said. "Maybe he went home and just didn't call because he thought he told you."

"I can't call Emma," Meredith shook her head. "She's barely sleeping through the night, and if Derek was there, I would hate to wake her like that. And if he's not there...the last thing she needs is to worry that there's something wrong with Derek."

Suddenly, the door slammed open and Derek strode in, stopping when he saw them all sitting in the living room. "Whoa, what's going on?" he asked.

"Derek," Meredith breathed, jumping off the couch and throwing herself into his arms. "Thank God you're alright."

"Mer," Derek said, wrapping his arms around her. "You okay?"

She pulled out of his arms and pounded his shoulder, a scowl overtaking her features. "Where the hell have you been?" she shouted. "I've been worried about you for hours. Hours, Derek. You can't just disappear."