𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘁𝘀

you were mine

Again and again I ask myself and I don't know how to answer, i didn't see the moment when your hand was moving away from mine

"this is not a thing of one day, Tom" my girlfriend shouted after saying she is breaking up with me. giving me before the reason, that i don't think is correct. "you don't care for me as you used to" that's what she said earlier

"its the best for both of us" the tone on her voice lowered, and her hands stop putting stuff inside her bags. her body turned so that her red face can face my teary eyes

what she said is not true, i do care for her. but i also have a busy work, with tight schedules and i have to travel, and she knows it. she knows i can't be here every day

"i love you, y/n" my voice crack. i want to cry my eyes out but at the same time i want to fight her back

then why don't you fight her back? you may ask. she's the most comprehensive girl in this world, she has always support me and she has never think bad about me. maybe she's right and I'm the wrong one here

"you'll find someone better, someone who can understand you and who can love you the same way you do"  i know this is also hard for her, but she doesn't has to do it. "I'm not that girl" a tear escape her eye, "i love you more than you love me and its okay 'cause this means we are not meant to be and its better knowing it now than when its to late"

she left and i did nothing to stop her

maybe she try to warn me and i didn't knew how to understand. i was a fool for not realizing the things that hurt her

and now I'm late to tell her she is the only one in my life

i looked for her, without finding her, why did she crossed to the other side of the road?

after that day, the day she left, i decided my self that i would fight for her. i look for her everywhere. her parents house, her best friend house, nothing.

Mia, her best friend, said she moved, that now she is living in New York. she always wanted to live there. we were going to move there, we had that plan but it never became real, at least not together, not for me

tell me what to do with this story of so many shared nights. because this dividing line is separating our days. How do I ask my memory to erase her photograph? It hurts too much to see her in my memories still

"are you crying?" i asked my girlfriend. i stood up from her lap to have a better view of her

"i always cry on this part" she said, a giggle escaped her mouth. i smile, how couldn't i? she's the cutest

"can you lay again in my lap so i can play with your curls" she asked, putting her lip with puppy eyes, and my head was on her legs again in less than five seconds

we were watching coco, she loves that movie, and as she said, she always cries. but i was there to cuddle with her, i was there to take those tears away. every. no matter if they were the reaction of sad scene on the tv or of one on the real life. i was there, and she knew it

but now that i think it better, i wasn't there, i was always out, i was never there when she needed me the most. when life was hard for her i was on the other side of the world. i knew she wasn't feeling good, but she always hided it, at least when i wasn't home

that's what i miss the most, to see a movie laying on her lap, with her fingers running all over my curls and shiver going down my body. we would watch a movie or just talk, talk for hours. talk and talk and never run out of things to talk about

I'd rather lose forever and let the days she was mine escape from my life

I slowly close my eyes and I feel that I can still see that light from her gaze that stole me on the way

how would i forget the light her eyes had when she was shining of happiness, when the stars reflected on them, when i called her 'princess', when tears of happiness where hiding there. accompanied by a smile, remember when i was the reason for that smile? 'cause your still the reason for mine

the reason for everything is y/n

And so sure of nothing I got used to believing that I had her insured, that this was a thing of fate

i looked for her and she knew it, why did she took another path?

after some months of searching for her, on the big apple, i found her. wearing fancy clothes, meaning she got her dream job, journalist, on a big company, editing her own text. she has always been good at writing

she had her coffee on her left hand, an iced one, of course, and some folders on the other one. a black skirt and a blue blouse, black heels. gold glasses and her hair up in a bun, not a messy one like the one she used to had on Sundays matching one of my hoodies, always eating ice cream, strawberry, cuddling the whole day on bed watching movie after movie. if i was there

her eyes caught mines, she saw me, but she decided to ignore it. she continue her road, leaving me behind. she doesn't know how much i wanted to talk to her, to walk and hug her small figure, feel her in my arms one more time. listen to her soft voice and smell her lavender perfume

next day i saw her again, she walked towards me. but nothing of what i thought happened

"what are you doing here?" her sweet voice spoke the moment her small feet covered by some brown heels where just centimeters away from my with convers

"i came for you" she's trying to hide her emotions, "y/n i love you" i try to take her small hands but she took them away so fast

"how did you find me?" no answer from me, "i told you to move on"

"i cant" my left hand running on my hair, "you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, i don't want to loose you, please y/n give me another change" she gave a quick look to the floor before her eyes return to lock with mines

she shook her head, saying no. "please, Tom, forget about me" she gave some steps to left me behind, "its the best for both of us" and she left, again. leaving a sad boy crying behind her

how will i forget her if its the last thing i want

and how will i lie to my self that i can start again if I'm dying to wake up and see her here one more time

i miss the days she was mine