See you soon ~ Book 1 Natasha RomanoffxReader

The truth

A/N: ⚠️LIME/STEAMY⚠️ Okay yeah I basically was listening to music and what happens in this chapter is basically based on the type of music I was listening to. ANYWAY, LIME/STEAMY ⚠️NOT SMUT⚠️ I am praying this is written well. Please don't judge me!!!

꧁✰𐬼𐬽𐬼𐬽𐬼𐬽𐬼𐬽𐬼𐬽𐬼𐬽✰꧂

After my visit to Clint I left the room. Stark was throwing a party to celebrate getting Loki's scepter. But to me it was just an excuse to get everyone drunk and waste money. This is why I don't get along with rich people.

I turned on the speaker and hummed to the song. I didn't even completely understand the song but there was a part of the song when I would always want to scream. Just to scream. I didn't this time, I was too mad.

I guess this is the part of a "Recovery process." Steve kept annoying me about. I don't understand why but he acts as if he knows me. I scoff at the thought and unzip my suit. He knows nothing of me, and If I was honest, probably nothing of the cruelty of people.

I slide the suit off and pick it up then toss it on my bed. With the sheets all nice and neat, they had never been slept in. I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a change of undergarments and a hoodie with leggings. I walked into the bathroom and placed them on the counter. I looked up and saw my dirty face and little skin that wasn't covered by the suit.

I took off the remaining articles of clothing and stepped into the shower turning the nob to a certain temperature. I never showered with warm water, because funny thing, it was like standing in an indoor pool . I laughed to myself on pity. I can't even stand in warm water . It has to be hot or cold. Either way it was a fit punishment.

Even here they are still in my head. Always being punished for messing up. I sighed and turned around so my hair could get wet. I grabbed some shampoo and worked it into my hair. I stand there and let the water wash away the shampoo. I look down and see dirt already washing away. I took the bar of soap and started to wash my body. Doing so the tips of my fingers would feel the scars. I remember each one, none of them compared to two.

( 7 years ago. Siberia, Russia.)

"God she is a mess." The man muttered. " That's a good thing, it means she did her job." The woman says walking in with a tablet. " Lynx, hold out your arm." She says. I obey and hold out my arm looking in front of me. " Good girl, hold still this may sting." She says rolling up my sleeve. I felt her hand grip my wrist. I felt the blade cut my skin, all I did was take a breathe. " Good girl. After your bandaged you may rest. You would like that, Yes?" She says standing in my eyesight. " Yes..." I muttered them going silent again. She smiles and walks off as the man bandages my arm.

I touched that scar and shivered at the memories. What it represented.

( 9 years ago. )

" Hold her still. I don't want to mess this up." A man orders. They lifted my shirt and two men held my shoulders down. I looked at the glowing metal. I kept shaking my head. " please, please don't." I whimpered. The man that spoke before shushed me and smirked. " Don't move." He ordered. He looked in my eyes and I had no choice but to look back. It was dark and the only sound was my breathing. Then my hip felt like it was on fire. I shut my eyes and scream from the burning. I lean my head back when the hot metal pressed my skin even more.

When the metal left my skin, I still felt the burning sting. I managed to look down and see the redness. I laid my head back as I felt a tear escape my eye. I pulled against the restraints in retaliation but it was meaningless. I just close my eyes and just imagine Natasha holding me and shushing me and whispering little nothings. I can't hardly remember her. What was her name... What was her name? What was her damn name!?!