The Luna

Thirty-Eight

I've made such a mess of things.

I try my hardest to hold the sob inside of me, but it feels like a balloon expanding in my throat slowly cutting off my oxygen until I'm left silently gasping.

I toss my head back against the wall, closing my eyes as I try to focus on my breathing.

In. Out. In. Out. Don't let them hear you break down.

Silent tears begin to roll down my cheeks and I realize if I don't want them to hear me, a house full of wolves works against me.

I crawl to the closet, closing the doors silently behind me, before pulling my knees to my chest and sitting in the dark corner.

Don't you know it's gonna be alright. I can hear my mother singing the lyrics so clearly that I would swear she is in the closet with me. But even the familiar Beatles song, ringing in my ear like it was yesterday, isn't working like it normally does.

I thought I knew heartbreak. Losing my mom had completely devastated me and left me in a darkness that I had to navigate alone.

I had to think about what the future would be like without her and I had to grieve all the things I would never get to experience with her by my side.

But this pain was different. It wasn't just heartache and grieving, it was betrayal and humiliation.

Stupid, Mia. Stupid.

But what did I really expect? For Austin to swoop me off my feet and promise me forever? For some love at first sight, happily ever after speech before standing before the council and informing him of his choice.

I put him on the spot and I didn't even take his feelings into account. I had just assumed that because we had something going, something we didn't label, that he felt something close to what I felt.

That was my mistake.

"Mia?" A knock on the bedroom door has me holding my breath in the closet.

I don't know why I even bother, they can probably hear the sobs I try to muffle or smell the tears as they fall from my eyes.

Hell, I could probably sneeze and all wolves within half-mile would bless me.

"Honey, I brought you some dinner. I'll leave it out here for you," Harper's voice is slightly muffled by the wood of the door, but I can just make out what she says. Just when I think she has left there is another light tap on the door, "Please eat, and when you're ready to talk, no matter the hour, come find me,"

I resist the scoff that rises in my throat. When I'm ready to talk?!

I've been ready to talk since I got here! Practically begging them for the truth - to understand what's going on and instead, I got secrets.

I got confused and I got a broken heart. I guess I can't really blame that one on anyone but me. Harper and Emily warned me to be careful with Austin.

I thought I understood their warnings. I thought they were looking out for their friend or trying to subtly tell me he was some sort of player. But all along they were trying to warn me not to get attached.

"Mia," another know on the door but this time the doorknob jiggles as it's turned, "You can let me in or I can break it down. Makes no difference to me. Either way, I'm coming in there," I can hear the promise from Malachi as the door rattles again.

I sigh in annoyance. I don't want to face any of them right now but that would be easier to do if the door remained intact. Maybe I can convince him to leave me alone.