Chapter 01: The Fall of House Kardashian

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In the world there was a game, and in the game there was a world.

And inside that world there was a place called Calabasas, and in Calabasas there was a mansion. 

The mansion had once been beautiful and majestic, a beacon shining across the Calabasas hills, boldly declaring to all who gazed upon it the fierce beauty of those who dwelled within.

But the mansion was no longer glorious, no longer the potent symbol it once had been. It had fallen, like so much of the world around it, into disrepair. The planters that hung outside the mansion had once been filled with beautiful flowers, fragrant and exotic. And anyone who touched those flowers was rewarded with money and energy. But now, no flowers bloomed, and the withered stalks that remained, when touched, snapped, or drew blood.

Past the once-formidable security gate, which now hung half off its hinges, the mansion itself was desolate and cold. The windows were darkened, the air was stale, and the rooms that once rang with music and laughter were now silent. The few pieces of furniture that remained was hidden away under dusty sheets. 

To any casual visitor the mansion seemed empty, looted, abandoned, forgotten. But a simple Flashlight spell would reveal that under the mansion lay a hidden network of tunnels. The tunnels ran deep beneath the house and led out beneath the fields. And one of those tunnels, if you knew the way and how to avoid the traps, led to a cave deep within the distant Calabasas hills.

Lights flickered within the cave. There were torches arranged in a circle around a clearing. Flames licked the jagged walls, filling the room with ever-shifting shadows. But if you watched very carefully, you would see that not all shadows are shadows. Amongst the flickery black shapes there were figures - three witches in fact, clad all in black, working in secret to prepare a desperate and powerful spell. 

One witch knelt in the center of the cave. She was the eldest, and her robes were dark and mysterious but also glamorous and form-fitting, as though they might have looked more appropriate on a much younger witch. She held a wand of polished flourite in her hand, and was using it to draw the shape of the Peach emoji on the sandy floor of the cave. 

The other two witches, her daughters, crushed a K-Star into a fine silver powder. They followed the path their mother traced with the flourite wand, filling in the emoji shape. 

But they were doing kind of a crappy job--one of the younger witches’ hands slipped and the silver ran outside the line. 

“Oops!” the witch said. “Sorry, I was distracted by Kourtney’s boobs, that robe makes her rack look amazing.”

“KHLOÉ STOP LOOKING AT MY BOOBS!” Kourtney cried.

“Umm relax? I’m giving you a compliment?” Khloé said.

“Girls, please,” the elder witch, their mother Kris, implored. She stopped her work and gave her daughters an exasperated look. “I’m trying to do a desperate and powerful spell here and I could really use your support. Can you two refocus your energy and stop being terrible for 11 seconds so we can finish the preparations?”

“Wait, why am I in trouble?” Kourtney protested. “Khloé’s the one wasting the K-Star juice, I’m just sitting here with amazing boobs apparently.” 

“It’s POWDER not JUICE and I said they LOOKED amazing I didn’t say they WERE amazing,” Khloé screamed. “Get over yourself!” 

And then Kourtney slapped Khloé, and then Khloé smacked Kourtney, and soon they had set their work aside to focus on beating each other to death. 

Kris sighed wearily and went about finishing the preparations for the ritual herself. 

“You know, this is exactly what I’m talking about,” Kris said, mainly to herself, since her daughters were ignoring her as usual. “I want you two to think about why we’re in this situation. If you devoted half the energy you expend on fighting each other towards becoming better witches, maybe our situation wouldn’t be so hopeless. Just something to think about. Like, I’m not blaming the imminent collapse of this entire world on you two, but I’m not not blaming you, you know? Goddess knows I’ve done everything I can.”

Kris used the last of the fine crushed silver to fill in the Peach emoji shape and then sat back to admire her handiwork. If you want something done right, et cetera. The symbol sparkled and glowed in the dancing firelight. She had done a beautiful job. 

It had better be worth it, she thought; that had been their last K-Star. Many men had died to bring it to them, although who cared about that. More worrisome was how difficult it was to access K-Stars lately. Something in the world was utterly broken. But hopefully not irrevocably. They would find out soon enough. 

“OK girls, we’re ready,” Kris said, rising and dusting off her hands.

Khloé and Kourtney, still busy smacking each other in a far corner of the cave, ignored their mother. Although they no longer seemed to be angry--giddy shrieks of laughter echoed through the cave with each smack they landed. As witches they had neither chill nor focus.

“GIRLS!” Kris yelled. She clapped her hands and every flame around the room blossomed and exploded, filling the room with a flash of blinding light. The girls immediately stopped and turned to face their mother.

“If I could have your attention for a few minutes,” Kris said. “It’s time to resurrect your sister.”

Quickly and solemnly, the witches knelt around the emoji and began to chant. 

Outside the cave, the dark sky began to boil.

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HELLO AND WELCOME TO KK:BTG! I’m excited, are you excited? It’ll be a few chapters before Kim shows up so hang in there. We have to learn a little bit about what’s happening in the real world before we find out what The Queen has been up to. 

The next chapter centers on someone who only made a brief cameo appearance in KKT, but he’ll have an expanded role in BTG. See if you can guess who it’ll be. :) 

PLEASE vote and comment and let me know what you think!

Kim Kardashian: #BreakTheGame (COMPLETE)Where stories live. Discover now