The Cave Of Wonders!!!

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Peddler: ♪ Oh I come from a land,
from a faraway place,
where the caravan camels roam. 

Where it's flat and immense,
and the heat is intense.
It's barbaric, but hey, it's home. 

When the wind's from the east,
and the sun's from the west,
and the sand in the glass is right. 

Come on down, stop on by, hop a carpet and fly,
to another Arabian night. 

Arabian nights, like Arabian days.
More often than not,
are hotter than hot in a lot of good ways. 

Arabian nights, 'neath Arabian moons.
A fool off his guard,
could fall and fall hard out there on the dunes. ♪

[Camel panting]

Peddler: Ah, salaam, and good evening to you, worthy friend. Please, please, come closer. [Camera zooms in] Too close. A little too close. [Camera zooms out] There. Welcome to Agrabah, city of mystery, of enchantment, and the finest merchandise this side of the river Jordan, on sale today. Come on down! Look at this. Yes. Combination hookah and coffeemaker. Also make julienne fries. Will not break. Will not... [It breaks] It broke. Ohh! Look at this. I have never seen one of these intact before. This is the famous Dead Sea Tupperware. Listen. Ah, still good. [Camera moves to the right] Wait. Don't go. I can see that you're only interested in the exceptionally rare. I think, then, you would be most rewarded to consider this. Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance. Like so many things, it is not what is outside, but what is inside that counts. [Camera moves to the right again] This is no ordinary lamp. It once changed the course of a young man's life. A young man who, like this lamp, was more than what he seemed. The diamond in the rough. Perhaps you would like to hear the tale? It begins on a dark night, where a dark man waits with a dark purpose.

Cut to the Cave of Wonders.

[Horse nickers as Gazeem walks over to the evil sorcerer, Earnest]

Earnest: [Evilly] You are late.

Gazeem: A thousand apologies, O Patient One.

Earnest: [Evilly] You have it then?

Gazeem: I had to slit a few throats, but I got it. [Earnest tries to nab it] Ah-ah-ahhh. The treasure. [Iago steals it from his hand] Ow!

Earnest: [Evilly] Trust me, my pungent friend. You'll get what's coming to you.

Iago: What's coming to you. Awk!

Earnest: [Evilly] Quickly! Follow the trail. Faster.

[Horse neighs and the wind howls]

Earnest: [Evilly] At last, after all my years of searching, the Cave of Wonders.

Iago: Awk. Cave of Wonders!

Gazeem: By Allah...

Earnest: [Evilly] Now, remember. Bring me the lamp! The rest of the treasure is yours, but the lamp is mine. [Chuckles Evilly]

Iago: Awk, the lamp. Awk, the lamp. Jeez, where'd ya dig this bozo up?

Jafar: Shh.

Cave: [Echoing rumble as it comes out of the ground] Who disturbs my slumber?

Gazeem: It is I, Gazeem, a humble thief.

Cave: Know this. Only one may enter here, one whose worth lies far within. A diamond in the rough.

Earnest: [Evilly] What are you waiting for? Go on.

[Gazeem still attempts to enter upon Earnest's orders, but upon entering the tiger's mouth, it bites down on the thief, closing off the entryway]

Earnest: No!

Cave: Seek thee out the diamond in the rough. [Goes back into the ground]

Iago: [Coughing] I can't believe it. I just don't believe it. We're never gonna get a hold of that stupid lamp. Just forget it. Look at this. Look at this. I'm so tickled off that I'm molting.

Earnest: [Evilly] Patience, Iago. Patience. Gazeem was obviously less than worthy.

Iago: [Angry] Oh, there's a big surprise. That's an incredible. I think I'm gonna have a heart attack and die from that surprise. What are we gonna do? We got a big problem here, a big... [Earnest grabs his beak and cuts him off]

Earnest: [Evilly] Yes. Only one may enter. I must find this one, this... diamond in the rough.

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