Simple Struggles(Golden Guard x Transman! Reader)

Chapter 1: Do it Alone

(D/n) = Deadname

(Y/n) = Your chosen name, aka the valid one.

This book contains swearing, gore, violence, gender dysphoria, transphobia, deadnaming, slight homophobia, deaths, mentions/acts of suicide, and underage drinking. Read at readers description(Don't read if ya can't handle anything mention(Warning will be every chapter)).

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You've always felt alone.

It felt like no one knew the real you.

There were nights where you cried yourself to sleep for what seemed like no reason.

You would always feel off about yourself, but you didn't know why.

That was until you stumbled across a video. It was about a guy explaining how he was born a girl but became a man.

You didn't think about it much, you even talked with your parents about the idea of transgender people, and they seemed like they didn't mind a whole lot. "As long as they really feel that way. But these young girls who are starting to think they're 'transgender'" Your dad air quoted transgender, "Are just trying to be trendy and mainstream. The percentage of transgender people has increased. Isn't that odd."

You nodded. "Yeah, when you put it like that sounds like they're just doing it for attention."

Your mother brought up similar ideas, though it was more in the social aspect. "I mean like- I'm fine with transgender people, but they can't expect me to just, suddenly, start calling them what they want and so on."

You nodded. "Yeah, like why do people just expect people to change how they think and speak?"

These ideas kept any lingering ideas in the closet.

You were just an ordinary girl.

You were a girl.

A girl.

It never bothered you until you found another video. This time it was about how a person found out they were transgender.

It was oddly relatable.

You thought about that for a bit.

Then you forgot about it.

You continued with your life, although you would sometimes do something odd where you admired boy clothing or hairstyles.

It got to the point that when you went to Levi's store, you were able to convince your parents to get you a black jean jacket that could fit over a grey hoodie.

Your parents were alright with the decision until you went for your yearly hair trim. Your parents dropped you off then left, having to do work. They trusted you to be able to handle such a decision at the age of 16, but when they came to pick you up, and you had a haircut so short that it was seen as a boy's haircut, they were furious.

Your kind hairdressing tried to calm your mother, saying it would grow back, but your mother ignored her while she paid. Then you went home.

"People are going to think you're a lesbian! Do you want that?" Your mother screamed into your face.

You were silent.

"You know that lesbians are seen as mean people, right?" Your dad chipped in.

"You didn't answer my question! Do you want people to think you're a lesbian?" Your mother re-asked.

"No," You softly mumbled. You hated the way how you stood there motionless as they continued going on and on about how ridiculous you looked.

When you finally reached your quiet room, you start crying.