Dead Leaves || Jikook

One.

Jimin was dead on the inside.

He felt nothing.

Absolutely empty was how he felt all the time.

Why?

Well, there are numerous reasons, main one being loneliness.

His father had died of cancer three years ago and soon after that his mom committed suicide.

He was left alone in the house, he was only sixteen years old at the time. He stopped talking to people after that, he didn't want pity from them. He was already a pathetic loser and he didn't want to make that worse by people pitying him, he didn't want to appear weak.

No one except his aunt and her family knew about Jimin's parents, and he would rather keep it like that.

He was going to go to college this year, he would major in dance since that was one of the only ways he had gotten through high school. Others being self-harm and alcohol. Depression had seeped into every vein of his body, he had nobody to talk to and a therapist was not an option since he worked three part-time jobs just to make ends-meet, so the only way for him was to let his demons destroy his mind and shut up about it for the whole day and take it all out on himself later through self harm. It was quite normal for anybody in his place to think that everything had happened because of him, if only he could take enough care of his mom, she would've been with him right now, if he had paid more attention to his father's health conditions then he would be here too. The bullies in high school hadn't made life any easier for him, they would beat him up even for breathing. He was weak, both physically and mentally after all, perfect target for bullies. That didn't even end after school. They would follow him back home and beat him up in his house and mess up the place which probably took hours to clean up especially since he was beaten up. He did pluck up the courage one time to ask them why did they do this, and their answer? "Because it's fun and we need some way to release all the stress ya' know." Well he was helping someone atleast, Jimin thought at first but then he thought of how much of a loser he is to not even be able to defend himself and as usual even that day had ended with five cuts on his arms and lots of bruises all over his body. He thought maybe this what he deserves for being so weak, an eye-sore and for not being able to go through a week without atleast slicing his skin a million times. What made it worse that not once person cared. No one noticed how he had changed, not even his old friends who had ditched him because apparently he was being too boring for them because he was not his usual self. Nobody noticed the sliced skin under his long hoodie sleeves, it was simply because no body cared. His old friend group was pretty nice while it lasted. There were three people other than him, Baekgyul, Jaebom and his favourite Jungkook. Jungkook was the cutest baby Jimin had met, that was until he ditched him and sadly became one of his bullies, Jimin was pretty fond of the boy, he made sure he had eaten well and was doing his studies well. Jungkook had liked him too earlier or at least it seemed like that, which was one of the biggest reasons when he was getting beaten up in the back of the school he was shocked to see Jungkook with them laughing at Jimin's weak state after they had beaten him up. Jimin learned after that never to trust anybody which also supports why he doesn't have any friends. The only motivation he had to live was that he thought after he went to college and pursued dance, things would change, he would be happy and he would find someone he could trust. It was finally that time. He was going to go to Seoul tomorrow, he had decided this from the orientation that his school had had and he was probably not the only one, a lot of kids from his school were going to shift to Seoul like him, they might even be in the same collage as him, he wished they wouldn't be, but either ways he was going to the college, he didn't want to hold back because of some bullshit that happened in high school, everything would be fine, he would be fine. Hopefully.