Illusions

3- new places, new people.

That night before my first day of school I can't sleep-I don't want to. The clock says it's one in the morning, so I sneak out through my window and shimmy down the tree beside it that I've been climbing since I was a child. It's not as if I've ever been the rebel in the family who just wants to go to parties or anything like that, but sometimes I just need to be out on my own . . . have a place that I can just breathe and think.

In our neighborhood there's this huge fountain in the center of all the houses with a green belt circled around it like a moat. It reminds me of an ancient castle because it is taller than all of the houses and designed as several angels triumphing over a mass of small humans in marble that never seems to fade or chip. I go there whenever I need a break from things because everyone's too dignified to hang out there, so it's the only place that I can go to and not be bothered.

I get there alright by walking, even though it's almost pitch black, and plop down in the grass that is oddly soft and cool against my skin. The ambient noise of the water flowing down the fountain relaxes me, and as I lie on my back, I gaze up at the few stars that wink at me from the sky. 

My eyes begin to sting as I can no longer keep the thoughts away.

"God . . . Why did you kill my parents? I know that you love me, and everything that happens is ultimately good, but I just don't understand!"  I swallowed the lump that forms in my throat, tears pricking at my eyes as I think about how I'll never be able to hug my dad again . . . hear his voice . . . his laugh. "Why did you do it?! I loved him more than anything in the world, and now I have no one!" I cry out into the night, and for a moment everything is still and silent. Until . . .  "I'm sorry about your parents."

Gasping, I sit up to see a shadowed figure standing over me.

"Were you eavesdropping?" My voice trembles slightly in both embarrassment and anger, and I can't stop the heat that rises to my cheeks.

"No. I just came to my spot, and here you are."

"Your spot? I come here everyday!"

"Hmmm . . . may I?" Is all the mysterious man says in response. Frowning, I eventually mumble, "Sure, I guess." I hurriedly swipe at my cheeks with the backs of my hands, and when I glance at him sitting down beside me, I finally get a good look at his face. Woah . . . He doesn't look to be much older than me, with a tall, broad-shouldered stature, and sharp features that take my breath away: piercing eyes whose color I cannot quite place in the dark, and jet black hair that is close cut on the sides of his head but from the center falls across his forehead like streaks of darkness.

"How much did you hear?" I finally ask once I regain my composure.

"Everything." My cheeks flush red, and I look down at the grass before he adds, "But it's nothing to be ashamed of. When my sister died of bone cancer last year, I thought the pain would never end."

I lift my eyes to meet his, surprised, and ask tentatively, "Did it? Did the pain end?"

"No. But God eased the pain, and gave me something to live for-to hope in." His words are spoken softly, yet I can feel how tortured they are. Each word leaves his mouth seemingly on the verge of cracking, so I don't know whether he's going to fall silent, start crying, or yell.

I shook my head, more at myself than at him, "I don't know how to do it. Everyday to have to wake up and realize my dad isn't there to say he loves me . . . it kills me." The words I utter are ones I never would have told anyone normally, but something about him seems trustworthy- earnest.

"I can help you." A low chuckle escaped his lips midline, and he began again with a grin curling at his lips, "I'm sorry-how rude of me. I never told you my name. I'm Rob."

"Aurora. How come I've never seen you around before?"

"I just moved in. I used to visit here all the time, though, because my grandma has a house here." I study him closely, uneasy at the way my heart races when our eyes lock. What was so compelling about him?

"So, how about we meet here tomorrow afternoon, and you can help me? I'm really new at this, and would appreciate a friend who can help me. As you probably know from experience, most of my friends left when my parents died."

"I get it . . . Sure, that sounds good..." He moves to stand, but for some reason, my hand shoots out and grabs his arm. "Wait, I have one more thing to ask you."

 He pauses, looking down at me contemplatively before nodding and sitting back down beside me. "I have...nightmares when I close my eyes." My voice drops unconsciously to a whisper. For several moments Rob just gazed at me searchingly, and it struck me once again the fullness of emotion his face held. It was like he was incapable of hiding what was inside of him. 

Finally Rob said in a tone matching mine, "Sometimes a distraction is all you need to make them go away for a little while." He leans forward slowly as my heart stutters, eyes lingering on my lips before returning to my wide eyes. I know exactly what's going to happen, and all of the reasons why I shouldn't let it happen fly through my mind at lightning speed. But my mind gives up within that second because it knows it has lost the battle.

Rob's hand moves to my face, gently tucking my hair behind my ear as his thumb caresses my cheek before moving to the base of my chin to draw my face to his. It's in that moment that I know he's that guy-but I don't care. He pauses just as my lips are nearly touching his, and I can feel his quick, warm breaths so that I can barely suppress a shudder. 

His hand abruptly drops from my jaw as he pulls away just enough to breathe, "I'm sorry . . . I shouldn't have done that . . . I'll see you tomorrow, Aurora."

I watch in disbelief as he walks away, mind reeling. What just happened? As much I hate to admit it, though, Rob's right. I don't know what I was thinking. We just met, for Heaven's sake! I guess I just wanted so badly to escape that for a moment nothing else mattered.

The only thing I know for sure is that I have no nightmares that night.