Persistent Tree

4. The Only One Who Wants To

Amethyst's point of view

"A monitor lizard?" I groaned. "Of all the animals on earth, you had to choose a reptile?"

Onyx grinned at me from across the table. "I am a man," he said. "I've got to have a manly pet."

"Manly men keep cats and dogs as pets too," I said. "Who says that you keep a French poodle? You can keep a rabid bulldog."

"Don't worry, Amethyst," he said. "Gordon will like you."

"I'm not so sure that I'll like Gordon," I replied, popping more chicken into my mouth.

We weren't on a date. It was just two friends laughing over dinner. I did feel a twinge of attraction towards him - Onyx was unbelievably handsome and equally nice - but I was a woman, and those twinges of attraction were common.

I felt another twinge in my gut. Another familiar twinge, horribly so. But this one was not remotely positive. It was fear, the debilitating, crushing fear I had been feeling ever since Jade got her friends to pick me up and throw me out the second floor balcony of my room when I was six, because Garret Mann had given me a Valentine and not given it to her.

I crushed the feeling. I was not six anymore, and I was capable of defending myself.

Yet you don't.

Shaking my head, I focused on Onyx as he made up funny theories about how I got the scars on my neck. It should have disturbed me, probably, that he was making a joke out of a serious matter, but strangely, it made me feel better. It felt nice that he wasn't treating the topic like it was a glass vial. Sure, he had asked me if I was uncomfortable, but I honestly replied that I was having fun, so he obligingly continued to think up increasingly far-fetched theories.

"Gordon sneaked in and attacked you?" he tried.

"God, no!" I exclaimed, chucking a mushroom at him. "I haven't even met Gordon."

"Hmmm, here's another one. Your alter-ego is Ellen Ripley and an alien scratched you when you were fighting it."

"How old are you, six?"

I felt myself break into a sweat. No. This couldn't be happening, not right now. Why did I have to recollect being tossed out of the balcony? Clenching my fist under the table, I tried hard not to focus on the way my muscles were starting to cramp from the effort of being tensed so I wouldn't start quivering.

"Hey, you okay?"

I smiled at Onyx, although I was well aware of how tight my smile was. "Yeah," I said. "Stuffed too much in my mouth, so I'm uncomfortable."

He didn't look remotely convinced, probably because I didn't have a grain of food in my mouth.

I was supposed to be fine! I was supposed to be cured!

"O-Onyx?"

Hes concerned gaze was still on me. "Can you take me home, please?" I asked him.

He nodded before dropping a bill on the table and helping me out of my chair.

The ride home was silent. I was too busy trying not to have a full-blown meltdown in front of him and blinking rapidly, trying to restore the patches of my field of vision that were beginning to blur or completely vanish. He sensed my anxiety, because we reached my home faster than we should have.

"I'm so sorry about today," I said. "I'm sorry for ruining everything."

Onyx smiled gently. "It's alright, Amethyst. I had fun."

"I did too," I breathed out, even managing a smile. "Maybe we can do this another time?"

"Sure thing. I'll come over tomorrow afternoon."