Persistent Tree

7. Counting in Seconds

Amethyst

Onyx stayed for another day, making sure that I was okay. He brought back my car, cooked me meals, fed and walked Champagne, washed the dishes and even did my laundry (to my utter mortification). It isn't fun to lie in bed with the knowledge that your sister's wedding planner is rummaging through your underwear. We both tried our best to keep our interaction platonic, but now that a certain line had been crossed, it was impossible to take a step back. It kept occurring again and again - the heated glances, the not-so-innocent contact, the sudden decrease in the distance we kept between us, and occasional kisses on the forehead or cheek. It was so painful. I wanted to take the leap and commit myself entirely to him, but something kept holding me back. I was, deep inside, wary - four failed relationships, one of which ended in such an ugly way, were bound to have some impact. I wasn't so pathetic as to make Onyx pay for the mistakes of my past boyfriends - he wasn't them. I wasn't going to swear off relationships because a bunch of specimens of the male species had screwed up. But I had a nagging feeling that I could have been partly responsible for my failed relationships - maybe I didn't enter them entirely willingly, so I wasn't as devoted to it as I should have been. I didn't really see any place where I had been insincere, but maybe I was biased. I didn't want things with Onyx to go downhill because of me. I would be be very careful - I would test the ground before I took each baby step.

But testing took time, and I was afraid that by the time I reached him, he would not be there.

That unreasonable fear stayed in my head as I walked with him to his car at the end of his stay. We were silent, each contemplating our own issues, knowing that our time together was fast running out. More than once, I almost drew him down and kissed him. But I controlled myself and shot him a polite smile instead, clenching my fists at my sides.

"Well, I guess this is it," Onyx said, unlocking his car and turning back to me, looking as unwilling to leave as I was to let him go.

"Don't say it like that," I said nervously. "It sounds like goodbye. I don't want it to be that."

"It isn't. We're going to keep meeting, and we'll figure out what we have between us along the way, alright?"

"But what if it takes too long? What id you decide you don't want to wait?"

"I told you that I would wait for as long as it took, Amethyst. I intend to keep my word."

I took a step closer to him. "But why?" I asked. "Why are you willing to wait for me?"

Onyx cupped my face in his hands. "Because something happened the first time I saw you," he answered. "Maybe that crash readjusted my brain's compass so that it always points to you."

I laughed, and I had never been more attracted to him than I was at that moment, on hearing those words. "If you keep this up, I don't think you'll have to wait for long," I told him honestly.

"Here's hoping." He kissed my forehead tenderly, a sweet kiss filled with promise of a future. "For good luck," he explained when I asked him why he did that.

With one last smile, he got into his car and backed out of my driveway. As the car drove down the hill, it took my happy mood with it, leaving me afraid and sad. Shoulders hunched, I returned indoors and decided to talk to my friends in the military. They were idiots, but they gave out good advice when they felt like it.

************************

"Thyst, you bitch! You're back!"

I smiled. "Hello to you too, Will," I sighed. "Where's everyone else?"

"Francis, Aidan and Gordon went to the bar with a few other guys from the unit," he answered. "Jeff is asleep - Dave and Brody are taping him up to the bunk."