Revenge Is A Dish Best Served [Larry Stylinson]

Instalment Thirty Two

"Louis, can we talk?" you've interrupted our intense make-out session with the need to talk so this better be good.

I take my bottom lip into my index and thumb pulling from the corners down into a pinch, giving them a slight massage as I could feel the blood pulsating around and that they had a hint of swelling to them.

I wasn't aware I was needing to catch my breath until I felt myself panting, I guess I had been robbed of my air supply for quite some time as we played horny little teenagers up in my room.

You had arrived at my house a little after 5pm and there was absolutely no sense of light coming from outside now, so I wasn't aware of what time it was.

"What's wrong Harry?" I breathe out, trying not to sound annoyed.

"I just wanted to talk; we don't talk much these days. It's always just physical" I subconsciously eye roll unintentionally which you didn't appreciate.

"You know what don't worry" you hiss as you abruptly get up off the bed which causes my reflex to grab your hand.

"No, Harry; I'm sorry. I was just enjoying myself" not that I needed to admit this to you, I'm sure you could feel the pulsating hardness beneath my pants.

"Do you actually like me? Or just what I have between my pants?" Okay I admit, I am loving this side of you Harry, you look so vulnerable and desperate.

I scoop you up between my arms and nuzzle my nose into the side of your neck, inviting myself to English side saddle on your lap, comforted by your right hand becoming present on my thigh, stroking it for comfort.

"Harry; whilst I fucking love what is between your legs, my obsession with you started well before I saw that" I tease.

"Then can we talk?" You don't let up on your original request.

"What do you want to talk about Harry"

You shuffle in your spot which causes me to hop off your lap, pouting like a small child as you cross your legs to face me on the bed. Already not liking how formal this little meeting of ours feels.

"I want to know more about you, I feel like we scratched the surface the other night meeting Emerson, but you've said nothing about it since" yeah, I was kind of hoping to avoid this topic if I'm being honest.

"What's there to know?" My attempt to brush it off is as ridiculous as it sounds.

"I'd like to hear more about her, and what happened?" You ask but I can sense the hesitancy in your voice.

"There isn't much else to say, Harry" I'm deflecting, can't you tell?

The look however of disappointment that washed across your face was more heart wrenching than I thought. I didn't understand it meant that much to you, but I'm becoming more aware that in relationships, people share things about themselves, and that was not a custom that I was used to.

"I'm sorry" I apologise. "What would you like to know?"

You look at me with unease in your eye and it's uncomfortable to see how much the tension has changed in this room from only a couple of moments ago, where your hands couldn't pull me any closer and now in your eyes, you seem further away from me than I could have thought.

"I want to tell you all of this Harry, I want you to know everything, I do, but I am afraid that I won't know where to start, which is why I guess I showed you. I didn't have the words" I'm not use to this part of me. Being weak, it's my number one rule. Don't give others the power to destroy you. No one knew about Emerson, well Michael did, but he is forever mute, so there's no worries there. Opening up the channel to Emerson to Harry was a huge step for me, and I could feel myself withdrawing already.

"Harry, can I ask you something first?" I've had a question stuck in my mind from the other day.

"Yeah" you answer with confusion as I take your wrist in my grasp.

"When did this start?" I have my own timeline in my head, but I needed to be sure.

"Leon" four letters I knew weren't yet out of my life. No matter that his body was still currently laying dormant in my bunker, I feel it wasn't enough.

"He use to abuse mum and I, but neither one of us knew, and I was just sick of someone else being in charge of my pain you know, I felt a certain power when I did it myself, I was so mad at myself for allowing him to do that to me. So it was my punishment" I can hear how much pain is in your voice Harry; you don't agree with your decision. You don't like that you do this. But you are so accustomed to doing it now, it's second nature.

"You don't deserve to be punished Harry"

I wasn't able to make eye contact with you during my confession but the moment your hand cupped underneath my chin to force them to meet, I was, for once, submissive to your touch.

"Neither do you" you whisper.

Swallowing the lump I needed to rid, I clear my throat and shuffle out of your grasp.

"Emerson was burnt in a house fire about 6 months ago and her mother was unfortunately killed. She was rushed straight to the ICU burn unit and has been there ever since."

Once my rambling began, it didn't care to stop, and something about you Harry, just makes me want to open up to you.

I continued to share my story, about her personality, and why I kept her a secret from everyone and every part of my story you accepted with open arms. You understood it all, and that's what I like most about you Harry. You never judge. You attempt to understand every part of someone.

"She's a part of you that your hiding from the world Louis" your statement sounded a little more like a question of I'm honest, but it the truth. It's how I live my life Harry, I hide my vulnerabilities, I always have, but in a way that terrifies me a little.

You are now a vulnerability.