All the Lies We Tell

1. Liam W.

PART ONE

I pull down the hood of my sleeveless sweatshirt lower over my face as I walk through a crowd on the streets of downtown Malibu. I wipe the sweat out of my eyes from the scalding day in the city as I successfully maneuver out of their eyesight and into an older building. I nod to Robert at the front desk, and the man nods back at me as he continues reading his morning paper.

Who even reads that shit anymore?

I take the elevator to the 32nd floor. I walk to the fourth door on the right: Doctor C. Hawkins's office. Before I open the door, I remove my hood, ruffle my hair, breathe deeply, and turn the knob to enter.

Jessica, the young secretary, greets me with a flirtatious smile. You would have been prime, I think to myself as I look over her long, light brown hair and blue eyes, her petite, thin body, the way her small, thin fingers rest on her desk; then feel sick to my stomach that this shit is still a part of me. I force a smile out of politeness as I check in, then sit down on the plush chairs in the waiting room. I look at my watch.

3:00 pm. Right on time.

The chair next to me creaks as a beautiful girl my age sits down. Her black hair lays long in tight braids as she pulls them back into a ponytail, wiping off the sweat that has perspired on her neck. She glances at me watching her.

"What?"

I smile. "I told you, you need to find a sleeveless hoodie. You're gonna die wearing that shit in this heat."

"If the glass cage couldn't kill me, Winters, then this August heat won't," Lavonna jokes, but it hits me in the gut. I feel her soft hand touch my arm, but I refuse to look at her. If I do, I'm going to fall apart.

She knows it, too.

"I'm sorry. That was really insensitive."

"It's your reality," I run my fingers through my hair. "Your reality because of me."

"Liam, I don't blame you -"

"I blame me, Lavonna!" I snap at her. Jessica looks up from her desk as Lavonna sighs, her dark eyes studying me. I take a deep breath as I force myself to look at her. "Sorry, V. I don't know what's wrong with me today."

She smiles softly. "Yes, you do."

She's right. I do know what's wrong with me, the added layer that has caused the tightness in my chest, the reason why I'm raging like an idiot today. But I push the thoughts of her ever-changing eyes out of my mind as Doctor Hawkins enters the waiting room.

"Liam, Lavonna. Good to see you both today."

"Hi, Doctor Hawkins," Lavonna says, and I give her a small wave.

Doctor Hawkins smiles. "Liam, you're up first."

"Go get 'em, tiger," Lavonna says with a wink, and I shake my head at her. She laughs her boisterous laugh, which always makes me smile.

Doctor Hawkins leads me into her office as she walks over to her pearl-white chair. She sits down, crossing her long, thin leg over the other. Her skirt has a higher slit today. 

I go to my spot on her white couch and plop down. Lifting my legs onto the couch like I do each time, I push a pillow under my head to prop me up.

"How are you doing today?" Doctor Hawkins asks, and I focus on her question.

"I've been better," I admit honestly, and she leans forward slightly. I can see her cleavage out of the corner of my eye, her fake tits propped up a bit extra today. Thirsty. "Slept a little bit longer than usual last night."