The Need to be Needed

The Pill

I made it.

This is the first thought that pops into my head on the morning of my 18th birthday. If the police find me now, they can't send me back to the Highlands. I'm free of them and the entire foster system. 

I go downstairs for breakfast, and see a colorful homemade banner hanging in the kitchen. How did Diane know it was my birthday? She hears my footsteps and turns around, smiling at me. "Happy Birthday, sweetheart," she says, walking towards me with her arms outstretched. I allow myself to fold into her embrace.

"How did you know?" I ask into her sweater. She chuckles as she lets go of me.

"Your date of birth was listed in the report about your disappearance," she says. "Now sit down and have some breakfast, my love."

I sit at the table, and Diane puts a plate of waffles down in front of me. She's cut up fresh strawberries to put on top of them, too. I'll bet they're even home-grown, from her garden. 

Diane sets down a mug of coffee in front of me, then tells me to hold out my hand. She reaches for a bottle of pills, then shakes one into my hand. "What's this?" I ask.

As she closes the bottle at puts it back, she says, "It's an adult vitamin. I know it's silly, but I didn't want to start give them to you until you were officially 18. I'm kind of neurotic about health stuff," she says, shaking her head and laughing. I smile at her.

"Well, thank you for being that concerned for my wellbeing. You'd be the first," I say, swallowing the pill with a sip of coffee. 

The rest of the day passes with many hugs and forehead kisses, and I try to savor what could be my last day with Diane. After all, I don't need her anymore. I don't want to burden her any more than I already have.

We watch my favorite movie, Matilda, and cuddle on the couch. When the movie is over, I decide it's probably time to discuss my leaving.

"Diane," I say hesitantly, not wanting to upset her or make her think that I'm not grateful for everything she's done.

"Yes, my love?" Diane replies. The way she calls me that makes it so much harder to say what I need to say. But I can't stay here and burden her with my presence any longer.

"Well, now that I'm eighteen, I'm technically out of the foster system. So even if the police find me, I won't go back to the Highlands. I'm free," I say, tears threatening to form in my eyes.

"Yes you are, sweetheart. You can just forget about all of them."

"But the thing is," I say, "I don't need to hide anymore. They can't send me back. I can leave here and you won't have to take care of me. I don't need you anymore."

I watch Diane, waiting for her reaction. Her soft, warm eyes turn cold and dark. The smile is gone from her face. "Yes, you do," she says. "You will always need me."

I'm starting to get scared. "I-I really just don't want to trouble you to take care of me. I'll be fine on my own. I couldn't possible ask for any more from you." I stand up, wanting to get out of this room. "I'll go pack my things, if that's okay."

Diane stands up, taking a step towards me. "No," she says, her unblinking eyes focused only on me. "You won't make it on your own. You need me."

"No, I don't," I say, trying to walk out of the room, but Diane grabs my wrist.

"Then do you want me?" 

I stare at her, not knowing what this means. Then, I watch her eyes change again. I can see fire in her eyes like a demon has possessed her.

"What?" I ask.

"Come on, baby," she says. I can smell the desperation on her breath. "You're not a child anymore. I understand that. So let me take care of you another way."

I don't even have time to register what she's saying before she's got me pinned against the wall. She holds my hands above my head with one hand while the other closes around my throat.

I gasp, then immediately feel her lips on mine. What the hell? She kisses me furiously, heatedly, desperately. I try to pull away from her, but she's got me right where she wants me. 

She removes her lips from mine only to take a breath, but I take the opportunity to yell, "Stop!" She freezes, opening her eyes and furrowing her brows. I stare back at her, having no plan in mind. She maintains her grip on both my throat and my hands, and tries to kiss me again. I retract my face, trying to turn away from her. I struggle against her, trying desperately to get away. 

She finally releases her hold on me, and I drop to the ground, trying to get away from her. She grabs a fistful of my hair and practically drags me by it, pulling me into the kitchen. I can't really see what she's doing, but she pulls something out of a drawer, then kneels down next to me. I try to wrestle away from her, but she forces me to the floor and pins me there. A sharp jab hits my neck, and I just stare up at her with tears in my eyes as my vision blurs. "It's okay, my love," Diane says, sweetly pushing my hair out of my face. "Relax... you're safe... and you need me..."