Push Me Away : Book 2 of the Teeth Series

18

Trigger Warning: Please refer to the warnings given at the beginning of this book and then proceed with your mental health in mind.

The only sounds on the phone line were those of the Harding sister's breathing. Heavy breaths, the sound of nerves and apprehension as they stood with each other at the cusp of finally facing the awkward silence that had been spread between them for months.

"It's not what you're thinking," Erin said, breaking the silence like glass. Her voice was a shock to Fallon's system and she scoffed before she was able to control the urge.

Fallon's teeth ground together in her mouth as her lips twisted to the side, her eyes staring hard through her phone screen as she did what she could to rein in the anger and hurt that had been building within her since Erin had practically abandoned her.

"And what exactly is it that you believe that I'm thinking, Erin?"

The sarcasm in her voice was evident. As much as Fallon was desperate for things between her and her sister to be resolved there was only so much she could do to rein in her personality.

"I know what you're thinking, Fal. I know you." Erin's voice was much softer than Fallon had been prepared for and as she glanced up, taking in her sister's appearance it wasn't like she was staring at her sister as she was then, in her mid-twenties. Instead, it was as if for a moment she was shifted back in time to when they were kids. When Erin was her whole world, her very best friend and the person she trusted most. For the first time, she considered the idea that she really might not know what it was Erin had to say, what her sister had been keeping from her.

"I know you think that my silence has been because I don't agree with your choice but that's just not the case. Honestly, I had hoped you would know me well enough to know that I would support your right to choose but I can understand why my silence could have muddied the

waters." She sighed and closed her eyes. Fallon felt her mouth begin to dry and a lump welling up in her throat. What was Erin keeping from her?

"When that news first came out I will admit that my first reaction was to be upset—not at you." Erin clarified. "I was just upset that you went through something so life-altering, so massive and you didn't feel like you could come to me. That you felt like you couldn't rely on me. That you wouldn't want me to be there for you. Because I would have, Fal."

Fallon could feel her eyes watering but she was determined to maintain her steely resolve though she knew it was quickly fading with every passing second. "Erin, if that's true then I need an explanation. If you weren't judging me, if you would have supported my decision and been there for me, then why the hell has it been months since we've spoken."

"You have to understand Fallon that I've always had your best interests at heart and I would never want to hurt you."

Again a sarcastic scoff fell from Fallon's lips. "You've done an excellent job showcasing that, sis."

"A few years ago," Erin said, ignoring her younger sister's latest comment and beginning the story she needed to tell. "A few years ago I was visiting mom. I don't remember how we got on the subject but I do know that we were both a few glasses of wine in and she was telling me about when I was a baby and how difficult of a time it was for her. I had colic and was practically inconsolable. Dad was working long hours and she was pretty certain that she had undiagnosed postpartum depression."

"Okay..." Fallon replied, her face scrunched as she tried to reason where it was that her sister was going with this story.

"So in the midst of all of that," Erin looked away from the camera and Fallon waited with bated breath as her sister chewed at the skin on her finger obviously made uncomfortable by whatever bomb it was she was about to drop on the younger Harding sister. "In the midst of all of that, she found out she was pregnant again."

Fallon's brown eyes widened as she listened to her sister speak.

"I guess money was tight, all the baby stuff they needed and all, and mom started to stress thinking about all the added costs that a second baby would cause."

"That I would cause," Fallon said softly, surprising herself with the sound of her own voice.

"Yeah...so that night with mom, she told me that she had thought about having an abortion."

Every hair on Fallon's body stood on end as she felt the shock of Erin's words wash over her. Words she would have never been able to predict.

"When mom told me that I immediately thought about all the things that I would have missed out on with you when we were little. You were, you are, my best friend and I can't imagine what my life would have been like without you in it. So when I heard the news I wasn't mad at you and I wasn't judging you but it just brought up all those feelings I had when talking to mom and I didn't want to project all of that on to you."

"You should have just told me instead of icing me out, Erin. I needed you, I still need you."

"You've never really needed me, Fallon. You're so strong, easily the strongest person I know and you've got Calum. Even after everything you two went through he's still around fighting for you. That's not something you see every day."

"That's bullshit, Erin! Of course, I need you. And as for Calum and I's problems, those are almost all self-inflicted. If I hadn't been so quick to read into his initial reaction to finding out I was pregnant I probably would have never even gotten the abortion and then I definitely wouldn't have lied to him about it and he and I wouldn't be in such a fucking mess. And you know who would have told me to give him some time and that he would come around if I had gone to her?"

Fallon's breathing was quick and hard as she took a second to catch her breath, a sob sticking in her throat.

"You. Because even though you were always a bit timid about him and I, you would have never doubted his love for me. You would have never doubted his willingness and ability to step up. You would have helped me be rational. So yeah, Erin. I fucking need you."

"Fallon, I—I, I didn't know."

"And that, like everything else, is no one's fault but my own."

AN: Y'all I am SO sorry that I have been so incosistent. If you've been around for a while you know it isn't like me at all. I'm hoping things have calmed down a bit now in my personal life and I will be back on a set schedule starting next week as school starts back up. I apologize again for the delay on this chapter!

What did you think about what Erin had to say? 

Was it what you expected? 

Was she right for pulling away from Fallon until she could sort out her thoughts and feelings? 

What happens now?

ILY,

Sav