TIRED | pacey witter

𝙏𝙒𝙊

𝙉𝙄𝙂𝙃𝙏 𝘼𝙏 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙍𝙄𝘼𝙇𝙏𝙊

┏━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━┓

IT HAPPENED ON MY FIRST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL...

the night before the first day of school had always made me nervous. i had an annual routine of freaking out, organizing my school supplies, going through my entire closet for an outfit, and trying to calm myself down with my favorite book and some chocolate milk.

tonight was not like that. i was so incredibly anxious, i couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. i didn't realize how anxious i was for school until i thought back on the day.

i couldn't stop thinking about him. him and everything he said to me. his words kept replaying in my head on a loop. i never thought i would hear him say things like that to me. he used to only like tease me in a friendly way. the way a brother's best friend would.

god, i am in too deep. it is not that serious, allison. what am i gonna do? how am i supposed to see him at school everyday?

thinking about seeing him at school was what initially kicked off my anxiety. i can't believe i'm going to high school. it's something i've worried about and idealized since i was a little kid. joey and dawson always say that it's not as big of deal as everyone makes it seem like but i can't help but feel scared.

what if i'm like an outcast? i've always kept to myself but what if people think i'm weird? what if pacey thinks i'm weird? god, i'm not ready.

pacey may think i'm the queen of hearts now but he's soon going to find out how much of a lie that is. i don't have the confidence. i'm just... dawson's little sister. i always will be.

i need to get over this, i need to get over him. if i keep pining after him like a lost puppy, i'll never experience anything other than that. i need a good high school experience. if i let myself get caught up in the need for the attention of my brother's best friend, i might not get the experience i want.

i started to feel my anxiety lessen a bit and i sat up in my bed. i need to keep my options open. i need to have an open mind and open heart. i could meet so many wonderful people this year. i can't let pacey or anyone get in my way of being happy. no way.

"allison!" i hear dawson call out from down the hall.

ugh, what does he want now? i sighed and stood up from my bed, "what?" i called back.

"come here!" he called again. i sighed and reluctantly left my room.

i made it to his room and quickly opened the door, "what is it?"

dawson and joey looked over at me from his bed, "watch this, i want to know what you think."

i rolled my eyes and made my way over to the tv, "you already made me watch the scenes for your stupid movie like a billion times—"

joey stifled a laugh and dawson cut in, "hey! my movie is not stupid and thats not what i want to show you."

i furrow my brows at his words and sit down on the side of his bed. dawson rewinds the tape and stops it at mom's face, "dawson, why—"

"just listen," he says before i can finish my thought. he plays the tape and i listen carefully.

she lists a phone number before turning to her co-anchor, "back to you, bob."