The Prisoner -- The Last Kingdom

Chapter 17

Aldhelm was the first to come see her. He found her in her study. She let him in but then regretted not relocating, as his palpable anger filled the small space. She leaned against the wall, letting him have the bulk of the room. Aethelred's rages has left her wary of men's dangerous feelings.

"Is it a love match, lady?"

Aethelflaed swallowed, hard. "It is a strategic match, above all else."

"But it is also a love match, is it not?"

Aethelflaed's silence was answer enough.

"What a fool I have been. I heard rumours, a year ago at least, but I treated them as all rumours about you, lady, as foul gossip. I squashed them before they could reach Aethelred. I protected you from them and from him."

Aethelflaed stared at her feet. She felt a guilt that she should not have. She did not owe Aldhelm loyalty or fidelity, but she regretted his sense of betrayal all the same.

"Then before Lichfield," he continued, "the two of you barely spoke. I thought that was proof enough. You showed no partiality to Erik, nor he to you. If anything, you avoided each other. But it was all an act, wasn't it? How long, lady? You must have met him in Coccham."

Her gut clenched at the half-truth. "He was in Coccham with me, yes. But it began when I captured him and exchanged him for Uhtred. He made his feelings known to me. And I did not act on them then, but...I knew that I would."

She raised her head, waiting patiently until he met her eyes. "I am telling you the whole truth, Aldhelm, because I respect you. I should have told you sooner, perhaps. I certainly should have been more clear with you when you proposed marriage to me. When I fled Aethelred, I went to Erik. He had promised me his protection. I was frightened and alone. I had no one to keep me safe from Aethelred. You know that better than anyone. You saw it all. You did not intervene."

He looked ashamed for a moment, but then his anger returned. "And you sought out a heathen."

"I sought out a friend. When Erik left me in Coccham, I thought it was over. It was an escape from my life, but only a temporary one. It wasn't until Aethelred died that I truly considered–"

"Lord Aethelred died because Erik killed him. He killed your husband, lady, before your very eyes. And now you would choose him–"

"Lord Aldhelm, do not pretend to me that this is out of the ordinary. Women like me have been used to make alliances for a long time. I am not the first lady of Wessex to be married to a heathen for the sake of peace. Moreover, the sheer extent of war in England ensures that many women are taken by the very men that fought their families, burnt their towns, and yes, killed their husbands. My situation is not some aberration in an otherwise safe and civilized world. You are served everyday by women who have been traded and stolen, used as currency or as a means of revenge. Are you truly shocked that I will be such a woman, as I have been before when I married Lord Aethelred? Or are you angry that I take this role willingly and that the union will bring me happiness?"

Aldhelm was rendered speechless. Aethelflaed took his silence as an opportunity to recover her calm and redirect the conversation.

"I am very sorry that I did not formally refuse your offer of marriage, Aldhelm. In a different time, I believe we–"

"Don't say that, please."

She nodded. "But I spoke truly when I said you have my support. If you are named Lord of Mercia, I will honour your rule and work with you for Mercia, if that is what you wish. But as your advisor and ally, not as your wife. And if I am to rule with Erik, I would hope that you would serve as my advisor. You are indispensable. Your love of Mercia is unmatched. It is truly a strength."