How Not to Fall In Love

1 and 2

This is this this this this is it. I'm shaking I'm literally shaking in fear! Is this how the people in the Saw movies feel?

Liv was squeezing my hand like she was about to break it, the pain overtaking her body.

"Oh Hanyu fuck you!" She cried. Damn let go of my hand!

"Okay Olivia I'm going to have you start pushing now okay? Let's calm our breathing yeah?" Dr.Suh said cheerfully, sitting between my girlfriends legs. Kinda weird but it's his job so no harm done.

"Dad I suggest you do this too so you don't faint." He joked, giving me an obvious smile through his procedure mask. Him and I have come to understand each other over this pregnancy and I respect him greatly now.

I nod and even though he was kidding, he was right. I needed to calm down too.

::::

"I can't! It's too painful I can't!" Liv cried, holding onto my bicep now, practically juicing it.

"You got it girl it's all good, just push down and out okay!?"

She nodded, squeezing me hard as she began to go with Dr.Suh's instructions.

We had been sitting here for hours and now it was finally time. I was more nervous than I had ever been in my entire life.

What if the boys don't like me? What if they cried when I held them? What if this? What if that?

My mother had to remind me that we hadn't even met yet! They were probably really cool dudes and we would love hanging out together.

"Here he comes baby number 1!" Dr. Suh says pleasantly as Liv screams bloody murder in my ear.

Nothing in my life could've prepared me for what I felt at that moment. There was a moment of rest until the shrill cry rang out through the room. My son. He's here. Tears spring to my eyes, no warning. He was so small and all purple and blue, but I couldn't take my eyes off of him. This is Ben.

I could barely feel her squeezing my arm again because of the beautiful distraction in front of my eyes. I'm a dad!

"And number 2!"

Another time of rest before a cry. The same feeling all over again, just as strong. There was nothing different. My son. He's here. I couldn't peel my eyes from the two. This is Sammy.

The twins were placed on Liv's chest and I immediately had to feel their skin, too make sure they were real and I wasn't dreaming.

They're real. They're my babies.

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"C'mere Hanyu," the nurse sat me in a chair and placed Ben in my arms. I had held a baby before but never my own. This is so exciting I can barely contain myself. Just looking at him made my heart beat faster.

I hope he likes me. I hope Sammy likes me. I want a good relationship with my sons, but how do I even do that?
Who cares because for right now they're just babies. My babies.

:::::

"Hi sweetheart! Hi baby!" My parents ogled at the twins as Liv and I tried to relax on her small hospital bed. Not much coming from it though as both of us were extremely uncomfortable but too exhausted to care. I didn't realize the amount of sleep I had missed just over these past few weeks. I had been disposable to Liv's every whim for the past month and my body finally began to rest after the twins were born. It was a good tired though, knowing I had earned this exhaustion.

"Well, they're finally here." Liv whispered, cuddling closer to me, all senses telling me to move closer and get comfortable. "I'm so happy." I sighed contently, resting my head on her shoulder, her head resting on my own.