Dear Lily,
Today, I wanna write about that feeling when you hear news about losing the people you once encountered in your life. I cannot explain such feeling in one word, so here I am...
I am not used to dealing with such situations. I know and accepted the fact in this life that people just come and go. But I guess I never really accepted the deep meaning of it, like I just think about those people living their own lives to the fullest. Receiving the news about the loss of those people, within the same year, because of this pandemic, is a very new feeling for me.
I come to reminisce each encounter I had with them and offer a silent prayer for their souls. Even those small encounters keeps rushing through my mind, their voices, expressions, smiles, frowns and laughter. I realized that those distant memories are beautiful and now sad. I may not have a close friendship with those people but still there was warmth of being alive with those moments I had with them.
Looking at some pictures, these are proofs, that they became part of my life and (vice versa) I am part of their journey here on earth. Thinking about it, it is really true that you meet various people in your life because of a reason. You may find the reason a little too late but knowing about it does not lessen the gratefulness you've felt meeting them.
When this kind of reality strikes at you, you cannot run away and escape from it. You cannot control your thoughts about the reality of loss. With this, you become frightened, worried and sad not about your own self but for those people whom you treasured the most.
How can you control your thoughts about it? When all that is happening slaps on your face everyday. This pandemic brings so much pain and struggles. Way back in 2019, I never really thought about such crises. I sometimes have regrets about my decisions and choices in the past, like I should have spend more time with my family rather than being with co-workers and focused on work. And all I can do now is feeling all the regrets, suffer the consequences of my choices and live with it everyday.
People out there are suffering everyday, more because of this pandemic. How can we stop this uncontrollable situation? One answer that I found in the internet (from a speaker named Bo Sanchez) is "Surrender". And another word is "Cultivate". I never thought about such words before. I am hoping and learning to encounter the true meaning of those two beautiful words. Cultivate the faith and surrender the life you have to the Higher Being.
So for now, I am learning to trust in His will. Learning more to cultivate and keep a stronger faith. And I hope people all over the world will find their way to trust Him too.
Always, L
