Innocent Sorrow (D. Gray Man Fan-Fic)

Chapter Twelve~

~~Allen's P.O.V~~

I felt heartbroken. So Carlie did like Lavi. I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I was on my way to Carlie's room to check on her when I overheard her. Then she and Kanda left, without spotting me.

Though I had been blind to it before, I now realized that I really did like her, a lot. But, I couldn't help if she didn't return the feelings. My stomach felt like a black hole, sucking up anything and everything inside my body. I didn't want to move, my heart felt like it would stop beating any moment, my legs trembled as though they would give out any second, and my brain wouldn't function clearly. I punched the wall as I leaned against the wall and slid down until I was sitting on the floor. I held my head in both of my hands.

"Damn it. Why does she make me feel so.. So pathetic?" I asked myself out loud.

"Who makes you feel pathetic?" A familiar voice said above me and my head snapped up.

"Oh, Lenalee, you scared me."

She sat beside me and looked at me with her bright purple eyes. "Why do you feel pathetic?"

I shook my head. "It's stupid."

"No it's not. If it makes Allen Walker feel pathetic it's either Kanda, again, or something else."

"It's definitely not Kanda, though it's kinda close."

She raised an eyebrow and I sighed.

"I didn't realize it before, but I like Carlie, a lot."

"So tell her."

I shook my head. "She doesn't like me."

"How do you know if-"

"She likes Lavi."

She stayed quiet as my heart clenched again. She stood up again quickly, like she was mad now.

"Well, at least you kind of know how I felt now, when you said no to me."

Before I could respond, she ran off down the hall, crying. Great, now Lenalee was mad at me too. Could this day get any worse? I groaned and buried my face in my knees.

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I trudged into the cafeteria where only Dakota, Kanda, and Carlie were eating. I debated not sitting with them, but considering there was nobody else to sit with, they'd probably suspect something. I sat in front of Kanda and his sister, next to Dakota.

"Where's Lavi?" I asked, although I wasn't really interested.

"He's sick today. Has like, a pretty high fever." Carlie answered.

"Is nobody taking care of him?"

"I was, but he told me to eat something while he rested. He wouldn't let me stay really." She looked at the brown table guiltily and I shrugged.

"Oh."

She stopped eating the soup she was eating, went to Jerry, and came back with a new, fresher bowl of soup.

"I'm gonna go check on him." She said as she started heading out of the dining area.

"Che, I couldn't care less." Kanda mumbled into his soba.

"Oh, yes you could." I objected. "You know you don't like the fact that they like each other."

He glared at me, and then smiled slightly; something I haven't seen in a long while.

"At least she's better off with him than a moyashi like you."

He smirked again and with that, he left, leaving me and Dakota alone. I scowled before turning to her.

"So, how do you like the Order so far?" I asked.

"It's pretty cool." She replied with a smile. "Everyone's been pretty nice. Well, except for one person in particular."

"Kanda?" I guessed and she nodded. "Yeah, he's always a bit rude to new people. Though he's still rude to me too. Actually, he's ruse to almost everyone."

She laughed quietly. "I don't get how Carlie can put up with him."

I shrugged and then looked at her. "I heard you and Carlie knew each other when you were little."

She nodded. "Yeah. We used to live in the same town shortly before Kanda arrived. I moved though, before I could even really meet him. But it's really cool to see and hang out with Carlie again, as an exorcist." She smiled, and I responded with the same gesture.

"Well I'm glad you like it. Have you been on any missions?"

She shook her head. "No. Not yet."

"Oh. Well I'm sure Komui will call you for a mission soon."

"I hope so. I'm kinda excited to."

"Yeah, I was too. Although, it had to be with Kanda. It was exhausting. But that was the only downside."

She laughed. "I'll bet."

A finder came running towards us, and I was expecting him to call for Dakota, but instead he tapped on my shoulder.

"Komui wants you for a mission."

I nodded once and looked at Dakota.

"I'll see you later." I said as I stood up.

"Bye Allen." She responded.

I started out of the cafeteria, wondering what this mission was going to be this time. Especially since he couldn't have called Dakota to do it for her first mission.