The Boy I'd Always Love ***A Short Story****

Chapter Four

I sat staring past Bastian’s moving mouth and hand gestures. I could see his lips moving but I was focusing on the couple behind him, they were laughing and kissing each other and having fun. I was beginning to realize that, that was what Oliver and I had. Every time we went out we were laughing and holding hands and kissing each other.

He genuinely loved me for me and wasn’t embarrassed at all to show his love for me. Bastian, for the time we were dating didn’t like to show affection in public, he barely held my hand. I think back to it and understand now, it was because of all the girls he knew and he probably didn’t want to appear as if he was ‘attached’ to anyone.

“Are you listening to me?” Bastian waved his hand in front of my eyes. “What’s wrong with you? Why do you look like that?” he questioned again. I snapped back into our bubble of conversation.

“What?” I questioned trying to focus back on Bastian.  I was just so engrossed in the couple behind him, I had completely tuned him out.

“Earth to Lola…” waved his hand again. I batted it away. “What is with you?” He looked annoyed. Ever since my hot sex night with Ollie, he was all I was thinking about and I was beginning to think that he had broken through to me and Bastian wasn’t my main concern anymore.  I wasn’t obsessing over him!

“Sorry Bastian.” I re focused on him.

“Am I that boring?” he teased and smiled his sexy smile.

“No...no” I assured.

“Well then? Spill? What is it with you lately? For the past week every time we get together you are staring off into La-La land!” he sat back in wrought iron chair. We were sitting at a little bistro downtown. We had met up for lunch. He had some big deal to talk to me about. For whatever reason, it wasn’t very interesting to me.

I looked over at the couple again. He turned his head and looked. I sighed. He rolled his eyes and wrinkled his nose.

“Bastian, don’t you ever want that?” I asked curiously.

“Want what? Oooey, gooey sick lovey dovey eyes…” he joked and batted his eyes. I don’t know why but this angered me. Without realizing it I slammed my hand on the table a little too hard.

“YES” I hissed. I took Bastian back a bit.

“Woa, Woa, Woa!” he lifted his hands and leaned back on the chair. I blushed. He leaned forward again on his chair and looked back at the couple.

“I don’t know Lols.” He rubbed the back of his neck. He saw that I was being serious. I was hoping something romantic and sincere would come out of his perfectly puckered lips, but the total opposite came out.

“I guess, someday maybe when I’m ready to settle down.” He smiled a sideways grin. I frowned. I sat back in my chair.  Why did I always hope he would say something that would blow me away and know that all this time, I knew that sweet, loving, caring Bastian was in there.

“Why? Do you want that Lola?” his hazel eyes searched my brown ones. I wasn’t quite sure how to read his question. I wanted to tell him that I’ve always loved him and wanted him. I couldn’t though, Ollie was in my head and I think in my heart now and I was now battling the idea of letting go of Bastian. How do I tell that to Bast though? I sighed deeply.

I looked at the couple again, they were kissing passionately. I had to come to terms with the fact that Bastian may never be ready to commit and I couldn’t keep putting my life on hold waiting for him. I stared at Bast sadly.

“It is what I want Bast.” I said quietly as I stared at him pleading him to see through me and see that I could still love him and we could be together if he could just reach out and tell me that he had the same feelings for me. If he couldn’t tell me, then I had decided right then and there to tell Bastian that I love Oliver and that I was going to make it a go with him and ask him to move in with me.