ONE SHOTS

coffee with nani 3

As nani and ashwin were having their exclusive men time sivaangi was left out with anju and charu with the ever vibrant arjun . playing along with arjun itself gave her long lost peace and happiness whichshe never felt in past 2 years . as she was playing in thegarden with arjun suddenly she sensed anju sounding excited .

anju " arjun arjun come here papa is kicking "

arjun sprinted towards hjer in no time and sat near her belly while sivaangi followed him and stood there looking at the movements of the baby which was clearly visible through her t shirt .sivaangi's hands were rushing to feel the baby and its movements against her hand as she was staring at the bumkp for quite long time without blinking her eyes leading to tears rushing out down her cheeks .

anju noted her stage and decided to talk to her by now . she eyed at charu and charu understood the hint . she took arjun in her arms and left inside the villa .

anju : sivaangi come here

sivaangi came out of her trance and sat near her still looking at her bump . anju held her hands and warmly smiled at her before placing her hand gently over her tummy .

sivaangi looked at her surprised while anju smiled at her and said : just think me like your elder sister ma . i was noting you for a very long time. something is bothering you . if you are free to share you might share it to me .

while anju was talking sivaangi felt a kick against her hand and that was enough to break her down into tears .

anju was a bit confused by her cry and looked up to see ashwin and nani tensed by her ccry . ashwin was about to turn to get down while anju signalled him to stop that she will take care . she wrapped her hands around sivaangi''s head while she burried her face in her shoulders brepeating again and again "i killed my baby i i... killed my baby .... am ... am not a good mother .... i would never be a good mother,....."

anju " shhh shhh relax relax ma shhhh"

she was repeating the same and sivaangi gained her composure back after a good cry of 10 minutes .

anju looked at her puffed eyes with a care and concern while sivaangi started saying her story of miscarriage .

sivaangi : i was young by that time i feared that my career would come to a halt if i took a break .

anju : that's not wrong my dear .but.. you could have planned your pregnancy if you weren't ready for it .

sivaangi looked at her and said : i.... we were married only after i thought that i was mentally ready for domesticity including kids . she looked at ashwin who was talking to nani while checking on her now and then and said : he waited for 2 years just for me . i was ready for everything but.... my stupid carelessness killed my baby ... our baby ... i .. i ... still remember how he was the happiest person in the world the moment i broke my preganancy news .he... he was even ready to take a break from movies for 8 months just to take care of me ... he was just at initial phase of his careeryet he was ready to take such a big step for our baby .. but  /... but i was the on eto convince him that i will take care of me and my baby .... but ... but i broke his trust ... i shattered everything in my own hands . my carelessness ... i killed my baby and i don't think i would ever be a good mom or a good wife to my ashwin. It kills me every second to see him sad by seeing kids . he loves kids a lot ... i .. i ... can't even fulfill his desire to be a father.every time i think of changing my mind i hear a voice of my first child laughing sarcastically at me that am gonna kill this child tooo eventually . i ... can't get over this.

she facepalmed herself and let out soft cry while anju was stroking her hair lovingly . 

anju : then... i think i should have never tried for my second baby as i nearly killed my son .