Falling in love is never easy, but falling for someone who could never be yours is even harder.
A twisted love story about a young woman named Maeva Baurlier, who's life revolves around making couples special day; A moment they will always remember...
"There's something about you, I stare into your eyes and everything i'm looking for I seem to find"
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Maeva Baurlier
As I got myself ready for the day, a wave of nerves hovered over me with every step I took. The simplest things seemed to be so difficult. I was second guessing myself left and right. Changing every outfit I put on because of my own self consciousness, picking apart my body and every hairstyle I did, resulting in me taking an hour to look somewhat presentable.
I didn't have time to make myself anything to eat for breakfast. Already, this day was turning to shit. Ignoring the cries of my stomach I hopped in my car, and zoomed off to the vineyard. A light layer of sweat covered my body, purely out of the anxiety that was weighing on my chest. I blasted the cool air and played some music to calm my spirit. This wasn't like me, the new me at least. Getting so worked up over anything or anyone was rare. I knew good and well the source of my anxiousness, but I dare not admit it.
Those few simple words from a few days ago have left me dumbfounded and kept my mind racing these last few nights. Searching for an idea on how he remembers me and how on earth I could ever forget him.
It's been years since I've seen Ezekiel, but I'd be lying if I said my 'fling' for lack of better words had diminished entirely. However, I couldn't wrap my mind around my emotions and why they had resurrected. Hell, I still don't understand why I was ever so besotted with someone else's man. Although I had no idea at the time until it was too late. Now that same man belonged to someone who didn't know if they wanted to be a friend or a foe of me.
I was lucky enough to leave once I discovered he was in a relationship never knowing anything about who she was or this mans personal life. Not his job, daily routine, favorite color, or even the simple fact he was in a full blown committed relationship. I cut our contract short and ran for the hills never looking back. This man—Whom may I add, never showed any interest in me outside of what would be considered along the lines of a "sugar baby" from what people would label it as or maybe I was just his submissive. Either way, I was starting to grow feelings which I knew was against the rules and made things go sour. Which is why everything ended for the best.
It's hard to let go of something you never had as silly as it sounds. But the most gut-wrenching part of it all is knowing that you're letting go alone because the other half was never holding on to begin with. But despite how I feel inside, I have to handle this situation appropriately. This isn't about my personal life, this is about my business, and how I make a living. I can't put my income on the line because of some stupid expired contract I had done years ago. The thought alone was cringe worthy.
So from this point onward, I vow to myself to keep everything professional. No feelings, no selfishness. After a bit of self-coaching I felt like myself again, relaxing into the leather seats of my car as I waited in the early morning traffic. My phone vibrated in the cup holder, catching my attention.
