when they call my name

ch. 10

christian stone

-

Alexandria's paintings are the key to the most vulnerable part of her childhood. Some hung up on the walls and sketches on her desk, a glass of murky water and brushes splattered on some loose paper.

There's even paint on the other side of the door, a landscape of mountains and wildflowers, stretching out onto the doorframe and wall next to it. Various shades of nature and white specks coating the design.

I wasn't intentionally looking to pry into the bedroom she grew up in, but the devil on my shoulder disagrees. The obsessive pride I'm lingering onto wants to tear open every drawer and every book, reading into her life. All of these things feed into my obsession, and soon enough it feels as if I have invaded so much of her privacy it's almost disgusting.

I could picture teenage Alexandria waking up in the middle of the night, staring up at this ceiling restless. I imagine a younger version of her discovering the talent she holds with a paintbrush and immersing herself in the arts, hoping it would drown out her demons.

I imagine a pretty little girl writing in her diary about a first crush, and then pleasuring herself about it later in the evening. Those same demons that would haunt her throughout the day would watch her touch herself to the thoughts of some stupid boy that was never worthy of her.

Alexandria clears her throat from behind me, wearing nothing but a towel. The sight of her nearly makes my mouth dry and the primal instinct to finish what I started creeps into my head.

"I need to put clothes on." She explains, holding onto her towel a little tighter than before. "That means you need-"

"Did you paint these?" I manage to get out before she can stop me.

She seems embarrassed that I've even asked such a question. I want to tell her that there is nothing to be embarrassed of. I would love nothing more than to watch her sketch and paint for the remainder of our lives. Such a vision is to watch her become so focused into the thing that could potentially calm her mind.

"Yes. Now, can you please leave so I can get dressed?" She interrupts my thoughts again.

"When did you do this?" An even stupider question that I already know the answer to.

She shakes her head while her cheeks turn red. "That's not important. So, please leave."

If I could stay in this moment for even a second longer, I would. I look back at her and slowly watch her chest rise and fall anxiously. I take one step closer to her and gently reach out to touch her chin. Her skin is wet and cold, shivering almost.

I let my fingers trail down her neck to her chest. As tempting as it is to rip the towel away from her and get on my knees, the sanity in my conscience reminds me that in order to ravage her I must get her to trust me. I plant my hands on her waist, brushing my lips against hers.

I'm tasting her, savoring every piece of it. She tastes like cold water, but it's so delicious and I need more of it. It's an innocent kiss, for now. While I'm holding her close to me, I'm holding myself back from pressing her against the wall and demanding more of her.

"Get dressed, little angel." I mutter upon her lips and force myself to pull away from her, shivering to the evaporating chills. Watching her move within her own little world is so inviting.

I would like to see her painted. An aura of golds and pinks... her blue eyes and all the little details that I want to become well acquainted with.

What am I supposed to do with my little angel now that I've got her in the palm of my hand?

Afternoon slowly becomes night within a few hours. We decide to order in Chinese from down the street and watch reruns of whatever was on the television. Not a single phone call from Eddie or anybody else like Antares.

I can't believe he had the fucking audacity to show up to the bar. Scare her with mention of her mother for whatever reason. He had the nerve to show up and hurt what is mine. A new perspective of this would be that he's using her to get to me and its honestly working.

How did I wind up making a deal like that? Sacrificing someone for fame? Knox Ledger was an asshole and deserved what was coming to him...but I didn't come to play God. I just wanted to play music. I just wanted to live out my dreams.

Beside me, Alexandria has fallen asleep and clutching onto the couch pillow. Light snores escape her lips, almost bringing a smile to my face.

It makes me want to break my end of the deal. If being rich and famous and all meant that she gets hurt, then I'd much rather be broke and homeless.

Almost...not quite enough.

My phone vibrates on the coffee table, not quite loud enough to wake her up. I see Gabriella's name in a text with the red heart. The sight of it makes my stomach drop and my chest tight.

Thinking about you, her text says. Call me later?

I didn't come to Los Angeles to cheat on my girlfriend. Well, intentionally. On purpose, at least. A girl with her life together and my best friend since high school. Four years' worth of memories and growth. Am I really wanting to throw away what I've built with her for some chick I fingered?

I throw up in my mouth. My little angel is not just some chick. Possession filters through me like the blood pumping in my veins. I cannot lie to myself even if I tried. I tried to stay away the best I could after seeing her that night at the bar, but that just resulted in jerking off in the shower every night.

Fuck, I need a cigarette.

I slowly step out on the balcony without waking her up. What if this is the best she's slept the past few days? What if it's the last?

I've never known a woman like her before. So innocent and unreal. Gabriella is just...Gabriella. Alexandria is... no words.

A car door shuts below me, and I see it's the catering van from work. Eddie jumps out and frantically runs to the stairs with what looks like a duffel bag. His thuds up the stairs are loud enough to wake up the whole damn neighborhood.

Not wanting to wake her up, I walk towards the front door and open it myself to find Eddie out of breath. His expression is a mix of confusion and possibly something else I cant explain.

"Christian? What're you still doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question." I tell him as I shut the front door behind me. "She's asleep so don't be loud."

He shrugs and shakes his head. "Well, I guess it doesn't really matter now. Antares could show up anywhere at any time. Treating us like some fucking puppets."

Antares. Hearing the name from someone else's mouth almost sounds unreal. "How do you know about him?" I take the time to ask. I haven't thought about how my manager was involved, but he was the one calling the shots as to my little angel's safety.

Eddie sighs deeply. "You said she's asleep?" I nod. "Alright, give me five minutes and meet me at the van."