Found me (r.j.lupin)

Chapter 14

"Can you believe that load of nonsense?!" Remus exclaimed, slamming down his fifth straight whiskey, "I am in the wrong for trying to help her?? All I did was show her I had faith, that she wasn't destined to a life of doom and misery!! But no...of course that's what she wants out of her life, a self destructive ticking time bomb is what she is, I'm telling you! Now I'm the arsehole who wanted to help!"

Kingsley sat across from him at the table with a look as if he was ready to end it all. Completely and utterly drained from the wolf's anger and annoyance, his face dull and uninterested as Remus ran a stressed and shaking hand through his hair, letting out small irritated groans and moving on to his next alcoholic beverage.

"I need to ask..." Kingsley shook his head and shrugged, leaning forward in his chair and resting his arms against the table, "Is there something going on with you and this girl?"

"What?!" Remus spat, a distorted face of disgust as he looked upon Kingsley's all knowing and bored one, "No! Absolutely not! I'm her mentor for fucks sake, why would you even-"

"Because you haven't shut up about her in the last three hour that we've been sat here!" Kingsley exclaimed tiredly, "I have problems too you know! I have a life!"

Remus let out a scoff and rolled his eyes whilst chuckling, shaking his head and send his friend a half amused look.

"I'm sorry" he sighed with a small laugh, "She just infuriates me"

"Yes, you've made that abundantly clear" Kingsley huffed, pushing his own glass of whiskey over to Remus' side of the table, to which he necked immediately and slammed the glass back down, as Kingsley continued, "But, and I'm sorry about this Lupin, I kind of agree with her"

"What?!?" He spat again, shooting his head up in anger.

"It was never your place!!" Kingsley exclaimed, raising his hands in the air in innocence, "You made her feel like she needed to be fixed, and you can tell me all you like that it's because it's your duty as her teacher and mentor...but it just isn't, you don't see McGonagall or Dumbledore holding her whilst she's having a panic attack, do you? Or taking her hand and created some poetic metaphor with a book that's damaged or some shit...your doing this for a personal reason and you know it"

"I was doing it because I felt like I HAD to, you haven't met her Shacklebolt! You don't know what she's like...she so bloody intricate and complicated...it's a miracle my mind hasn't blown the amount of time I spend with her" He huffed, running a hand over his face tiredly, and shaking his head, "She just reminds me of me"

"Exactly, mate" Kingsley sighed, "She reminds you of you, so you were trying to help the damaged part of her because no one helped yours when you were like that...you did it for selfish reasons...you did it for yourself, not her"

Remus dropped his hand from his face and looked at Kingsley in disappointment. He knew he was right. He did try to fix her. And he tried to do it because no one ever did for him. But he probably just made her worse.

Kingsley just nodded his head, realising that Remus was agreeing with him and placed a strong hand on his shoulder as the wolf bowed his head solemnly and nodded it in agreement.

"You're right" he whispered with a sigh, "I know you're right"

The bell at the top of the door rang, signalling that someone had entered and they both turned their heads to the opening, Remus letting out a small groan and turning back to his friend.

"Oh Jesus Christ" he huffed, hiding his face with his hand to avoid Izzie and her friends who were laughing away and walking to find their seats, from seeing him.