darkest hour

the beginning

The next day 

Carinas pov 

As my shift wraps up, I head to the attending lounge to grab my things. After taking off all my gear, I put a mask on, and grab my purse. Maya texted me letting me know she was outside waiting to pick me up. I send a heart back, and start walking. 

I walk outside and see her car, I basically run to her. She jumps in my arms, and I swing her in a circle. I pull my mask down, as she pulls her down and kiss her. After a while I needed to break for some air. "I missed you so much." I said. "Me too." She replies. I set her down and get in the passengers seat of her car. 

As she begins to drive, she fills me in on Luna. I start zoning out, thinking about the baby. How I found out I was pregnant the day Maya got hurt, how I had the baby on my own. 

"You're at 9cm Carina, you're almost there." Jo says to me, sweat dripping down my face. An hour passes, and jo comes back in. "10 cm. You're ready. When I say.." she starts but I cut her off. "Jo. I know." I reply, somewhat snappy. Amelia must've seen my name on a board because she comes running in. "Car, you're not doing this by yourself." She says.

"Amelia you have a surgery to go to." Jo says, but Amelia shakes her head. "This is more important than some stupid craniotomy. I'll have Korasic do it." She says before getting in the bed behind me. As pain tips through my body, jo says "Ready? 1..2.." 

"Carina?" Maya says, snapping me out of my flashback. "Sorry, just zoning out." I say, as we pull into the driveway. "Car we have to talk about y/n." She says, which sends shivers down my spine.

She grabs my hand and looks me in the eyes. I have that feeling. That feeling you get when something is going to be bad. "Babe, I was talking to y/n's therapist and she thinks we should see her psychiatrist about a..." I cut her off. "A bipolar disorder diagnosis." I reply. 

She sighs before replying "how'd you know?" In a sad tone. "I grew up with this. My father had it, Andrea had it. I know what it looks like." I say. 

Mayas pov 

My heart shatters  as I watch Carina break down into tears. She lets out a muffled scream before sitting up straight, and breathing slowly trying to calm herself down. I wipe the tears off her cheeks and grab her hand. "I'm here for you. And I'm here for her, whatever she needs" she doesn't reply so I say "Car you might want prepare yourself for what you're going to see in there. She's.." she interrupts me. "I know." She replies. 

We walk in together and I can see Carinas heart break at the sight of her. The shorter hair, the small figure, the impulsivity. Y/n can't tell, because she's manic. Luna starts crying, so I start heading upstairs before carinas grabs my arm. "Let me see lu." She says, before running upstairs to get her. 

Carinas pov 

Tears are streaming down my face by the time I get to Luna's room. I pick her up and cradle her, "hi baby. Mammas here." I say rocking her back and forth. It's good that she won't have the gene, because I carry it and I'm not her biological mother. Maya is. 

Maya comes in and puts her arms around me. I almost break down into tears again, but hold it in. "I love you two." She says. A small smile appears on my face, which makes Luna smile. "It's okay baby, it's okay." I say to her smiling.