It's Just Desire ♡ 18+ (Michael Jackson Fanfic)

2 - serious business

Describing our friendship as a rollercoaster is an understatement. Well at first it was a smooth ride. I don't know what ruined us. Us catching feelings or the horrible allegations? I'm not sure.. but whatever it was, he was pushing me away. I was becoming distant. Less calls, less visits, more arguments and more slammed doors. We were becoming strangers to eachother. I tried to make it work, no matter what he says.

September 1993

"Michael, honey" I mumbled to him, knowing he wasn't asleep. I knew he was waiting for me to doze off and then he would leave and wander to think.

"Yeah?"

"You know you can trust me? You can always trust me."

He didn't say anything for a while and I started to feel like I've said too much. Maybe I was being a bit too selfish, making sure he didn't slip away from me. That it was I who needed him. Like it was I who was going through a money hungry family trying to tarnish my name through pedophilia claims. He finally turned over and faced me and I made out the lines of his face in the darkness. His leg grazed lightly past my knee.

"I know, Frecks."

I scooted closer to him, close enough where I could feel his breath move slightly on my lips. "You know you are special to me."

"I know. Thank you."

Thank you. I stared at him and waited for something more than that but he wasn't and it bothered me to no end.

Say it back to me. Say I'm not disposable.

He only shut his eyes at an attempt to fall asleep and end the conversation.

The words slipped out of my mouth before I thought about it. "Don't I mean the same to you?"

"Go to sleep," he said softly, his eyes still shut.

"Don't I?" I need to hear it so I can have some peace and a clear conscious. Even if it's a lie.

"Please close your eyes and go to sleep," he reiterated.

I didn't know how to respond to that so I turned to the other side and submitted. He couldn't say it back to me. He couldn't even lie to me. I brought my knees into fetal position and let the tears fall silently. My emotions got the best of me and I became audible. He didn't say anything at all.

As I was drifting in and out of conciousness I felt his arms slide over my waist. Or maybe I didn't.. I'm not really sure. But by the time it was morning and the sun was coming through the curtains I found him still asleep, his head mostly under the sheets. I got out of the bed in silence and went to find my pants. Making sure I left nothing behind, I quietly got my cell phone and purse and silently closed the door behind me.

"Alisha?" I mumbled, tired, drowsy, and hurt on the phone. My publicist and also my best friend in crime. I pushed the button for the elevator nearly 29 times, as if it would go any faster. "Can you get me a flight home as soon as possible? Preferably in an hour? Thanks."

I didn't realize this was me leaving him. I was pretty in denial about it. And when the appearances of me and him together suddenly cut off, the media became suspicious. They thought it was because of the allegations, but I had to clear the story.

new york, new york - january 1994 - 10:32 am

"There is something I just have to ask you about, Giovanna," Diane Sawyer stressed.

"Alright."

"Michael Jackson."

I gulped. "What about him?"