A Heart of Gold

Chapter 4: Boyhood and Famine

The world, Radheya learnt, was a cruelly fascinating place. It could be as simple as a blade of long grass or as complex as the coils of Radha maa's braids. You couldn't take anything adults said at face value. Why, only the other day, when he'd gone to the riverside with his mother, she had told him not to jump into the water from the makeshift pontoon. When he asked her the reason, she had paled and turned away. And how weird was that? He knew how to swim - Satyasena bhaiyya had taught him. What could possibly happen? When Shon had asked their father why he had earrings, he told them not to ask questions. How would they ever know things if they didn't ask around? Stupid adults and their stupid rules. "Vasu, you must learn how to drive a chariot," his father would say. Oh! How Radheya hated that sentence. He had no quarrel with the horses, and they were always happy to have him in the stables, neigh as they would with pleasure. But sitting in a low seat eye level with their soiled rumps? Abominable! He loved standing on the high pedestal though, under the umbrella, where he and Shon would lift up invisible bows and swords like vanquishers of lore.

Then, there was the matter of quaint explanations. Today, when he asked his mother why it rained, she smiled at him and kissing his forehead said, "The king of the Devas, Lord Indra, has his capital Aamaravati high up in the skies. There, in his paddocks, stay plenty of elephants. The leader of the herd is the Lord's favourite, Airavat. When the sins of humans rise, and mother nature's endurance dries up from the pain of torture, the elephants cry and the tears fall as rain, laving away misery and spreading love."

Vasusena squinted at her and said, "Uh-huh?"

Radha hugged him, smoothed his unruly hair and fanning the embers of the kitchen fire, laughed at his confusion. Offended, Radheya demanded, "How come they don't fall?"

"They have wings, dear heart. "

"Elephants," Vasusena firmly declared, "don't have wings. I have seen their statues. "

"These do, son."

"Then how come I can't see them?"

"Oh yes, child, you can, why do you think clouds are grey when it rains? It's the elephants. They trumpet, that is the thunder. And the lightning is flashes of their tusks."

"But why can't I see them other times, when the clouds are white and soft? And tusks aren't that thin, they're big and thick. Anyway, where are they now?"

At this Radha maa laughed (again!) and shooed him away.

Later in the afternoon, when seated on the charioteer's seat, he would tell his father that he did not want to be a charioteer. Adhirath baba would ask him if he wanted to beg or starve in future. He would reply, "I want to be a warrior. "

Adirath baba would sigh, "That, son, is not for us."

"Why not?" Radheya would demand. Adhirath would turn away to conceal the grief in his eyes and later that night, he would take his wife aside and beg her not to tell Vasusena stories before bed.

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"Bhaiyya!"

"What happened?"

"Move!"

"Even elephants would hide their faces behind banana leaves like newly wed brides if they see the amount of space you take up."

"Maa! Bhaiyya is calling me an elephant." complained Shon, facing the wall beside the trapdoor.

Radha peeked into the hayloft of their shack which doubled as a bedroom for the boys. "Radheya?"

"I assure you maa, I did no such thing. "

"You just said that elephants would hide their faces if they saw me."

"That's hardly calling you an elephant. I meant something worse."

"Radheya!" Radha rebuked him severely, or as severely as she could anyway. In response, Radheya rolled his eyes and curled up tightly on himself. Then peeping from behind his parted fingers muttered, "Song, please?"

Radha climbed up and settled at the boys' heads, putting them on her lap. Moments later, the humble dwelling filled with a soft, mellifluous voice that fell upon them like a warm blanket on a winter morn. Shon put her hands in their hairs and entwined his fingers with Radheya's. Radheya looked up just in time to catch the weary smile on his mother's face and the calm, soft, maternal serenity that shimmered in the diffused moonlight coming from the tiny round ventilator. Her forehead was creased with gentle lines. Placing his palm on the fingers carding through his mahogany hair, he murmured quietly, so as to not awaken his now slumbering brother, "You look worried maa."

Radha's fingers pressed his temple gently. "It is nothing, sweet child. "

Radheya twisted his body like a snake, quick, fluid and almost noiseless. Radha's tender, coarse, work-worn palm now came to rest on his forehead. He felt the cool metal of her iron bangle pressing lightly against his scalp. "Maa? Did we do something wrong?" He left the evident 'Is baba angry?' part unspoken, for such was the way of the Suta family. He knew Adhirath had been coming home much later for the past few weeks, and almost always, the unwashed clothes reeked of cheap alcohol and smoke. Radha sighed, "The rains have failed for the second consecutive year. The stocks of the royal granary are fast depleting. The market is afire. Nothing is within our purchasing capacity. Your father keeps drin..." she fell silent, biting her lip when she realised that she had said too much.

"Maa?"

Radha, mostly to cover up her folly, burst into swift, nervous speech, "It'll be alright. We'll work it out. Don't worry. Your father... he... you... you must stop troubling your father. You must get a fixed job as a charioteer. You're the elder one, you must look after us. Did you see Sangramjeet, how well he maintains his father's forge?! You must - " Shon stirred and mumbled something in his sleep. She caught herself rambling and stopped. Radheya peered into her face and she found a disconcerting understanding in the purple pools - almost black under the pall of night - of dark, amber eyes. Radheya jerked, propped himself on his left elbow, and wriggled around, "Forget Jeet bhaiyya, he's a bully and he harasses everyone. How long till our store runs out?"

Radha squirmed uneasily, "Long enough. Now go to sleep. This isn't your headache. Let the adults deal with this." And then sounding like she was convincing herself, she added, "It will be alright."

His gut told him it was the beginning of their troubles. He quelled the the voice that later, he would learn to trust more than himself.