Lost Or not?

Chapter 25 Are U There?

DISCLAIMER! SELF HARM.!!!!

Nora: OH MY GODD!!

I felt like my heart would stop beating, I felt so loney and just gave up. My tears kept falling on my lap. While crying I sat up slowly on the bed and started even My screams, my shrieks all of them were continuous. I felt like all of these years were a joke to me, my life infront of me was laughing at my misery I thought that everything is sadness. The miseries just change into memory it still lingers. But what is worse are the good times that make you feel pathetic and so lost in the present. You look back at those times and curse yourself for ever witnessing such happiness because now it makes you feel so suffocated and lost.

I don't know why I started crying in the first place, I just put down my phone and it just all came out but now I can't seem to stop. I felt like I lost something so important , something in me or of me.

Nora: I Lose now, I can't fight. I have no strength to. OH GOD.

With that I got up still crying and went into the washroom. Looked at me the messy mascara in my eyes, hair still somehow looking decent eyes swelled, and me constantly sobbing. I just couldn't look at myself anymore. I couldn't continue. I saw the blade on the shelf looked at it and sighed. And then it happened I started cutting myself like crazy. Cut after another, it stung but felt somehow so less to the pain in my heart, that sinking feelin that was killing me. I did it so much to the point my whole arm was covered with cuts and blood, it still didn't feel enough, It wasn't replacing the pain, The pain was still there. Then I took a gulp and advanced towards my wrist.

Nora: I am sorry papa, I give up. It hurts to breathe. I wanna be there with you and nona.

As I put the blade on my wrist , my doorbell rang.

No!just no! Today why today. I wanna die in peace please. Atleast let me die in peace , I couldn't live peacefully. But if I didn't answer they would think somethin is wrong and then I'll be saved again. And no this time I am so doin it. I looked at myself took a tissue and wiped my tears and removed the messy mascara and put an upper on the dress after washing the blood from my arm so noone notices it.

The doorbell kept ringing.

I came out of the washroom , took a deep breath and opened the door.

My jaw dropped and eyes widened in the shock, it is a lie.

???:Don't do it Nora! This is not the way.

Nora: But yo..how...no

I couldn't seem to make sense. And it felt like my body froe into one place. Couldn't move.

................................................................................................................................................................

Me sitting on couch knowing this person is constantly looking at me. Meanwhile I kept fidgeting my foot in nervousness and confusion.

???:So are you going to explain, I am disappointed!

the person said while clenching his jaw but then sighed.

???: Show me your arm.

He said in a low tone and I gave my arm to him.

???:It is worse than the first time. Explain why you did it.

He said while checking my arm.I can sense the concern but no I don't fucking need it.

Nora: Explain!Explain?!Why don't you do it

ZIE!?!

Zie looked at me.