Walking After You | Dave Grohl

fifteen

15.

THE CAR RIDE FROM Nessa's apartment to the Swanson's — or better yet, the future Swanson's — residence was insufferable. Neither of them would admit it out loud, but they were both feeling restless, feeling as if they were actively walking towards the abyss.

As soon as they pulled up to the party, after taking way longer than needed to get there, Dave was instantly overwhelmed with a sense of dread. And, secretly, while pretending to be unaffected, Nessa was acquainted with that same feeling, internally fighting to keep herself together.

After breathing out a long and discouraged sigh, Dave removed the keys from the ignition and turned to face her. He dropped his shoulders and asked tiredly, "Is it bad that I'm not excited about this? I feel like I should be"

Nessa smiled knowingly at him, reaching over to touch his warm hand while quietly shaking her head. "If it makes you feel better, I'm pretty nervous too," she admitted in a whisper.

"I just don't want them to think I'm ungrateful," Dave vented, running his thumb down the side of her hand. "And I don't want you to be sad"

"I'm not sad," Nessa lied. "And they know you have to go. They're all here to celebrate you now and while you're gone. Just hold on to that," Nessa promised. "We'll all be here when you come back"

Dave doubted it, and he could see the same fears in her brown eyes, but he still smiled at Nessa's weak promise. Maybe those empty promises were what they needed to hold on to some sort of hope.

"Ready?" he asked finally, squeezing her fingers in between his.

Not in the slightest, Nessa wanted to reply, but instead, she just nodded. Together, hand in hand, they walked up the driveway and to the front door, both nervous to face what was hiding behind it.

Jimmy met them at the door, immediately flashing them his typical wide happy smile. "Look who's finally here," he chanted cheerfully, pulling Dave into a brief hug.

"Hey man," Dave greeted, taking the opportunity to look over Jimmy's shoulder and peek into the inside of the house, accessing what he had ahead of him.

Thankfully, it didn't look like Jimmy had gone all out. He was known for crazy, totally overboard, no-limits parties, but this time it appeared he had restrained himself to close friends only.

"Nessy," Jimmy said softly, surrounding Nessa in a tight bear hug that made her giggle. Over the months, the two of them had gotten closer, and Jimmy had pretty much become an older brother figure that Nessa had never had.

"Hey Jim," she smiled tenderly back at him.

Dave was engulfed in greetings and cheers as soon as they crossed the entry hallway and entered the small living room.

Despite being uncomfortable to be at the center of the attention, and not dealing well with compliments directed to him, Dave was happy to recognize the faces in the room, including childhood friends whom he hadn't talked to in months — if not years, even.

And although they were obviously congratulatory towards his most recent success, it all felt casual and good-natured.

With everything happening recently in his life, such as the praise and the attention from the press, Dave was glad that within his hometown friend group things had remained normal and he didn't need to fear being treated differently.

Nessa stood by his side, their hands still tightly connected, while he introduced her to the friends she hadn't met yet. She noticed how he slipped into his silly and goofy self to hide how overwhelmed he was, and she would occasionally squeeze his fingers softly, trying to support him as best as she could, despite the fact that she felt herself crumbling too.