Chapter 38

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Rory sighs and clenches his jaw. "I – Jack, I – " He stops, grunting. "I dunno what else to tell you, Jackson. We, we fell out, but it's, it's way more complicated than that."

"It was such a bad falling out that you became friends again?"

He doesn't say anything. He just sighs again.

"Evan messaged me."

Rory's eyes go wide.

"He told me you weren't forced out."

"What."

"He told me you used them."

"Fuckin' liar," he spits, grabbing my shoulders. "Why're you talkin' to those pieces of shit?"

I don't want him to touch me. But I do. I still pull away. "He messaged me first."

"Jackson," Rory starts, trying hard to keep himself calm. "I'm, I'm not explaining this to you again. We had a falling out. They liked me, I didn't like them. End of story."

"So can we tell our parents we're dating?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Rory, I'm not gonna tell them," I beg. "Jus – please tell me."

"No."

I swallow.

He looks away.

"...I don't believe you."

Rory looks back at me. "You don't gotta believe me. You gotta trust me."

"I do trust you. I might love you 'r whatever," I pause, wiping my eyes, "but, but I don't. I can't. Not on this."

He comes back to me and takes my hands in his. His eyes are getting teary, too. "Jack, I know I'm askin' a lot of you, but – please believe me. We can't tell them."

"Why?"

"Be – !" Rory drops his head and grunts. "Why can't you just accept that?"

"Cuz it's nothing. It's not an answer."

Rory grunts again, and when he does it, I can tell he's getting pissed at me. "I – " He groans and looks at me. "I, just, can't."

I sit down on the floor.

Rory turns to look away from me.

My head's spinning, and my ears hurt.

He moves back and forth on his feet.

My heart hurts, too.

And for a good long while, we don't say anything.

"..."

He takes in a breath and sighs.

"...was...was any of that true?"

"I don't wanna talk about it with you, Jack," he says. "I – not right now. I'm not." But the way he says it, his voice shakes.

I look at him. "That makes me think it's true."

Rory swallows and shakes his head, frowning.

"I think you used them."

"I didn't."

I shake my head. Now I'm sad. "And everythin' with your dad?"

"Don't, Princess."

"I think you like doin' that."

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