Ziphozethu

21

My father kept going on and on about how I was stooped so low to become Moses's mistress. I ate what I could silently because I needed to get this over with. Everyone at the table looked worried as my father went on and on about this. It's seamed like they all wanted to tell him to shut up and didn't have the guts.

"Now there's a baby involved. Zethu is now the mother of another woman's child and the child is dependant on her. This is a mess! One big mess that we need to get under control." I couldn't take it anymore. I got up. "Where do you think you're going. Sit down!" I couldn't deal with this any longer. "Or what?" I asked him and he looked shocked. After not getting a response I went upstairs.

I couldn't take it anymore. I was going to be sick. I ran to the toilet and threw up the contents of my stomach. "Zethu? Are you okay?" I hummed in response and got up to rinse my mouth. I brushed my teeth and then just sat there.

"Zethu, we're getting worried. Do we need to come in?" I opened the door so Veronica would leave me alone. Fikile was also in the room. "I'm fine. What is it?" I asked rudely while getting my phone. "Zethu, we're your family. The least you can do is act like we exist." Fikile said and I just sighed. "I was fine. I was doing great without all of you and your husband ruined it. He ruined it so excuse me if I'm not acting the way you want me to after all of you allowed my mother, a woman with no skills and job experience or any money to take my brother and I and dump us in a shack to die!"

I was yelling so loud everyone came running upstairs. What was I thinking? Why would I say that out loud. "Zethu." I shrugged Fikile's hand off me. "Okay." Was all she said before she made everyone go back downstairs. I sat on my bed fighting back tears until there was another knock at my door. "We're having lunch. You have to eat." Fikile said. I couldn't even get myself to move. How was I going to go downstairs and eat.

"Come on, Zethu. Give us a chance. Please, maybe we can resolve this. Your father has agreed that he's being too hard on you about this situation. Just give us a chance to understand it." Everything felt heavy. I was fighting just to keep my eyes open how was I supposed to go downstairs and deal with them? "Zethu? Zethu! Somebody help!" I heard before passing out.

I woke up in a cold dark room. The door creaked open and a woman in a lab coat came in. "Hi Ziphozethu, I'm Dr Dlomo. You're in a clinic. You fainted due to your high blood pressure but there's no need to worry, the baby is fine." I sat up when I heard that. "The baby? What baby?" She noticed that I was shocked. "Oh, I'm sorry I thought you knew. Congratulations. You're pregnant."

This is what I wanted but it's coming at such an inconvenient time. The doctor went on to tell me about my diet and exercise and I needed to schedule a doctor's appointment as soon as possible.

Fikile and my father were waiting for me. "Are you okay?" I just nodded. "Doctor?" They asked and I didn't even notice the doctor behind me until now. "She'll be fine." The doctor reassured them and we left. I got home and got a video call from Moses. "Hi, my love. How are you doing? We heard you're sick but when we got to the royal house they wouldn't let us in." Moses said. "I'm fine Baba. I just fainted. How is Buhle?" He looked worried about me but he still answered.

"I just got her to sleep. Mamakhe, you don't look okay." I wiped the tears that started falling. "I just want all of this to be over so I can leave this house." He looked concerned. "Zethu, you're needed downstairs." Thabo, my brother said. "Baba, I need to go. I'll call you later." I wiped my tears away and we said our goodbyes.

I was taken to a lounge and I sat in front of my father and Fikile. "Zethu, with the input of my wife I've decided that we'll allow your baby to come stay here but you have to go through a coming of age ceremony. Your umemulo ceremony will take place as soon as possible so that you can get married."

I was shocked. "I can't do the ceremony." He looked confused. "The ceremony is for virgins. I'm not a virgin." I said and he looked uncomfortable. "I assumed so but times have changed. Just this past weekend a girl had her umemulo ceremony. She wasn't a virgin either." I got nervous. I knew he would be furious.

"I still can't do it." My voice was shaking. "Zethu, girls all over are doing the ceremony and they're not virgins either." Fikile jumped in. "I can't do it... I can't do it because I'm pregnant." I finally got out and they sat there in shock. My father got up and left.

"How far along?" I wiped my tears. "Seven or eight weeks." She just nodded and it looked like she was thinking very hard. "We can still do it. We do the ceremony as soon as possible and then we contact the Gumede's in regards to paying damages for getting you pregnant. Let me go speak to your father."

She left me there and I just sat silently. I didn't know what to do. What if we go through all of this and Nozipho ends up not signing those divorce papers. Then all of it would've been for nothing. I needed certainty and I didn't have any of that.

"Zethu? Hello? Are you there?" Msizi was waving his hands in front of me. "Come on, we're about to play uno since the wifi isn't working at the moment. Come play with us." He pulled me up and took me to the table in the kitchen. I played but didn't care much.

"Zethu, it's your turn. Come on. Being with your brothers can't be that bad. You used to play with us all the time and beat our asses when we cheated." Mpilo said and everyone laughed. "And she was so small so we all acted like it hurt." Malusi added. They laughed about it but I just didn't have the energy. It was like this place drained me of it the moment I got here. Maybe it was just the years of trauma finally surfacing but I just couldn't get a handle on it and for some reason I just couldn't keep acting like I was okay. So I just sat there because if I engaged in any walks down memory lane I would burst.

"Okay then. In other news, Veronica has decided to marry. Long story short. Dad tried to force them to get married for cultural reasons after Themba died. They made him realize forcing them to do that would be illegal. They decided to get to know each other first because they were both lonely and socially awkward. Now they're in love and getting married." Mpilo said while the whole table chuckles. "Basically, at first they caused drama for no reason."

I was trying to engage with them but it felt like I was disconnected from them and myself. So much was going on. Bad memories kept playing out in my brain. I was creating future disastrous scenarios and that was making me panic. On the other hand I was extremely worried about Buhle and my boobs were killing me.

"Um, I think I need to lay down."

The banter stopped and they all looked worried but let me go anyway.