A Long and Lonely Mile

Chapter 16

There wasn't a moment in the night when Marigold allowed herself to rest. The closest hotel with a vacancy was two blocks from the hospital. She persuaded- nay, begged the clerk to find her a room that had at least a partial view of the tall, unsightly building wherein the love of her life was fighting his most brutal battle. With the curtains wide open and the righthand corner of the hospital glowing like a beacon in the night, she remained seated upright at the cheap, particle board hotel desk until dawn.

She didn't want to worry Giselle, although Jake surely would inform her before too long. So, she sent her a quick, vague text requesting that she check on Moxie at least once throughout the day. That was the only contact that Marigold had with another human until she dropped the key off at reception. Nobody from the hospital had called her with word on how his surgery went. They were in no way obligated to because were neither related or married.

Asking for an update on his condition was the emotional equivalent of standing in front of a firing squad. Once his room number was in hand, however, much of her anxiety melted away. She found him resting with his face turned towards a small open window in the corner of a cramped room. The heavy machinery that surrounded him and the bed that looked as though it were nothing short of a flattened punching bag- made him appear just as out of place as he surely felt.

The nurse had told Marigold that he was still coming out of sedation and would require more silence than conversation. Merely seeing him, hearing his breath and hearing his heartbeat, even if its sounds were computerized, encouraged her. If only for a little while. She listened closely to each beat as they were fed through the monitor's small speaker and placed her hand against her own heart. Sure enough, they were going back and forth, singing their sweet duet just as they always had.

"I know you probably can't hear me," she placed her head on his pillow, imagining that this was just another morning in his arms, "you might not even know that I am here with you right now. But maybe we can pretend that this is nothing more than a bad dream. Remember? We're alone with our fears right now, but only for a little while. This is nothing more than a passing moment in our forever."

"They gave me a timeline," he responded, opening his eyes just long enough to admire her face in the soft morning light, "My commanders were right. I always was too ambitious. In battle and in love."

"What do you mean?" Their hands clasped on the cool, thin sheets.

Tavington fought for one more glance at the woman before him, but he was quickly descending into yet another empty dream. "My heart is sick. It can only last so long."

"Then I will refuse to leave you for however long we have." Marigold declared with all her strength.

"It isn't long enough, my love. To do all the things that we planned to do. For the future that you always have deserved and that life has so cruelly denied you all these years." His eyes, just as dazzling as ever continued to fight against their desire for rest. Seeing her as he spoke these words was worth the fight. "And that is why, my beautiful, joyful Marigold- that is why I must set you free."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying my heart can no longer hold the weight of love. What you did for me yesterday, by giving me a silent, comfortable space to live out the remainder of my days, only proves how selfless you are. There never was a soul worthier of happiness than your own. And unfortunately, there is no happiness to be found in a future with me."

She remained unmoved. "Can't we talk about this after you rest a while? Please?"

"Eighteen months at most," he continued, ignoring her question. "The very most. It's more likely that I'll be gone within a year. The sooner that we part, the less pain there will be."