Hesitant Hearts

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Y/n Pov

It's been 3 whole days without contact from Alex. I just know it's about that girl, he will send streaks and I can tell when he's at her house. Now I'm not sure if it's his sister or something but he wouldn't hide it. 

I'm taking a small break from streaming because last night I went live and people were still bitching about Alex being there. I can't enjoy anything without him being brought up. Here's the thing, I think about him all the time. 

His face, his laugh, everything about him constantly circle my mind. Why was I feeling so strongly about him, I'm pissed. I guess that doesn't mean my feelings automatically stop. I know he doesn't feel the same way because of that girl. 

I want to text him. I don't care if he doesn't answer me, I just need to. 

My Beanie Boy <3

Y/n:

hey alex...i know you have been ignoring me lately but can i just know why?

Read: 11:43 am

You're kidding me, right? I swear to god if he is doing this just for that girl. I can't fucking believe this. I know I said I didn't care. Spoiler alert. 

I do. 

Alex Pov

I feel so bad right now, I have been ignoring Y/n so much lately. Last time we spoke I was such a dick to her. 

The only reason is, I have been talking to a new girl, Jessie, we aren't dating but she wanted me to stop talking to Y/n if I was serious about it. I'm scared to be in a relationship.

1: I'm afraid I would be able to give my girlfriend (If I had one) enough attention because of my job as an influencer.

2: I...might like Y/n.

I think I have for a while but I'm just so afraid, I was only talking to Jessie to keep my mind off the fact that I might have feelings for my best friend. The thing is this girl really wants to date, I'm afraid but...I might say yes. I just NEED someone to distract me from Y/n. 

The thought of Y/n is in my head all the time. Her face, her laugh, just everything. I go to sleep thinking about her. It's bad because she probably doesn't feel the same way. So I should just move on and date this new girl right?

Right?

"Alex?" Jessie says snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Oh, yeah?" I say. 

"Alex, are you like serious about this?? I am." She asks. I swallow rough just thinking about it. As I said, it's a distraction. I like her. Not Y/n. Right??

"Yeah. I just need to say one thing, if we date, I still get to be friends with Y/n" I say flat. 

"What? Why?" She asks with an annoyed look on her face.

"She's my best friend that's why. Look if you don't let me then it won't work, I'm not going to give up a friendship for a relationship." I say. 

"Fine. So...are we together now?" She asks.

"Oh yeah, I guess so," I say with a smile on my face. "Hey look, I had fun and shit but I have to go. Sorry," I tell her, getting up and slipping my shoes on. 

"Oh okay baby, love you," She tells me. I pause. I haven't said that to anyone in a hot minute.

"I uh...got to go like right now sorry," I say fast and rush out of her house. She comes out the door looking at me confused as I look at her through the windshield of my car. I wave goodbye and smile. 

-

I arrive home and immediately run to my room. Pulling out my phone to message Y/n. I come across her contact and sigh, I need to change the name so Jessie won't get mad.   

Loser :)

Alex:

Hey loser, can we facetime

Y/n: Yes!! yes, we can!

I laugh at her excitement. It melts my heart. No Alex you have a girlfriend now, she cannot make you feel this way. 

I hop onto the call and ring her with face cam on. She joins with hers on, a big smile slapped across her face. I didn't know she missed me this much, wow. Makes me so fucking happy. I- ugh.

"Alex!!" She yells as she joins the call. I laugh.

"Y/n!!!" I yell back, we both then laugh. 

"Holy shit how have you been? You have been ignoring me a little..." She asks, both of us slowly fading from the happiness that was just in the air. Even from 954 miles I can still feel and share her sadness. I had no idea I made her that sad. 

"I know...I feel really bad about that, I have just been busy y'know?" I say with a weak smile.

"Alex, you obviously been with a girl, I could tell from your snaps." She tells me. I sit in slight shock. Damn, she really knew this whole time?

"Oh...I'm just gonna say it. The only reason I stopped talking to you for a couple of days is that she told me to. We started dating today but I told her I would only say yes if you could still be my best friend. I'm really sorry Y/n, but now it's all good." I tell her, the second I say we are dating her smile fades even more, but then she snaps out of that and smiles a little. 

"Oh...well I'm glad you found someone...look I have to go...sleep facetime later?" She asks. I smile weakly. 

"Of fucking course," I say, we say our goodbyes. 

God, she looked so upset when I told her I was dating someone. Maybe she does feel the same way?

Y/n Pov

I'm so upset. I like him so much but now he's dating someone who doesn't even want him to have me in his life. I just need to get over myself, he doesn't feel the same way. He never will.

But. 

His laugh.

His face.

The little freckles on his cheek.

The way he cares for me. 

Passionate about his career.

Him.

I cant. I can't stop having feelings for him. I have to hide it because he is in a happy relationship. Why the fuck is everything so hard.

A/n: Wow fast upload? couldn't be me...anyways follow my Twitter.

@quackitygreat