Begin Again

2

Christmas Eve is our big family day. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Grandparents, everyone comes to my parents house. It's nice but overwhelming. I get asked a million questions and treated like a celebrity. Besides my cousin Derek who is a surgeon, I'm the next most fascinating family member.
"If you ever meet Jojo Siwa, will you tell her I love her?" My little cousin Bri asks.
"Absolutely," I promise. My chances of meeting her are slim, she has a contract with another company.
We're finishing dinner and my phone vibrates in my pocket. Usually I wouldn't check it but it could be someone wishing me a Merry Christmas and it'd be rude not to answer.
My heart flips when I read the name.
Leo: Merry Christmas Eve. How long are you in town?
I pick up my wine glass and finish the rest of it. It's been so long since I've seen his name on my phone.
Me: Merry Christmas Eve to you, too! Two more days, I fly out the 26th at 7pm
I feel like I've written a paragraph but I want him to know I'll have time to see him on my last day. If that's why he's asking.
Leo: Brunch on the 26th? Meet you at the diner at 10:30?
The Diner. That's the name of the place. It's the only one within miles so they don't have a need to differentiate. Leo and I used to go there all the time, so much that we had a booth that was our usual and all the staff knew us.
I type out four different versions of basically the same thing before forcing myself to hit send.
Me: See you then.
I put my phone away and try to force myself to spend time with my family. All I can think of is Leo, what I'm going to say to him, how we're going to interact. Our encounter yesterday wasn't exactly awkward but it was brief.
"Oh, and Ariana Grande," Bri says, bringing my attention back to the table. "I want an autograph from her."
"Girl, so do I," I say and we laugh.
I love how famous she thinks I am but I'll never be that famous. I'm a behind the scenes kind of girl. The most of me you'll ever see on a screen is my name scrolling by in the credits.
I get up from the table to refill my wine glass. Lara follows me to the kitchen.
"He texted you," she says. Lara and I have always had psychic abilities when it came to each other. She's only two years younger than me and except for that time she kissed my ex boyfriend, we've been super close.
"Yeah, he wants to do brunch on my last day," I tell her, filling my glass with some expensive red wine one of my aunts brought.
"Brunch? What is he, a middle aged white woman?" Lara jokes.
I chuckle. "We're going to The Diner. I feel like it's going to be weird."
"Then don't make it weird," she says simply. "You knew each other once, you can know each other again."
Can we? Will it be like picking up where we left off or are we too different from who we were before?
"We'll see how it goes, I guess," I say, turning to go back to the table.
"How do you want it to go?" Lara asks.
I turn around and see her eyebrows up, arms crossed. "What do you mean?" I ask.
"Well, is this two old friends catching up or is this the start of something more?"
I roll my eyes. "We never 'started something more' back in the day when I know he knew how I felt about him."
Lara shrugs. "You don't know he knew. Plus, you're both older now and mature enough for a real relationship."
My mind flashes images of an alternate universe where Leo and I are together, holding hands walking down the busy LA streets, kissing on top of a hill we just hiked, laying in bed together in my shitty one bedroom apartment.
"That's what I thought," Lara says, bringing my eyes back into focus. "You're not over him."
"Jesus, did you really see inside my mind that time?"
"It doesn't take sister telepathy to know what you were thinking, it's all over your face," she says, walking past me back into the dining room.
Is it that obvious? I mean, I did have the world's biggest crush on him when I was a teenager but I'm an adult now. I've changed so much since then and Leo has too. Who knows how I'll feel about him now.

Before
"Why do you need a boyfriend anyway?" Leo asks.
We're sitting across from each other at The Diner eating dinner. I just gave him a list of people that I have crushes on, trying to determine which one I should try to date.
"Eventually I want to get married so I need to practice being in a relationship before I get old, duh," I tell him.
"I'm not getting married," Leo says blankly.
"Yes you are and I'm going to be her best friend too," I say after taking a sip of soda.
"You kids need anything else?" Kim, our waitress asks us as we finish up our food.
"We're good, thank you," Leo says, dismissing her.
When she walks away from the table we pick up our conversation where it left off. "I'm just saying you can't marry someone that I don't like," I say after swallowing a mouthful of cheeseburger.
"Well, neither can you," Leo retorts.
"Of course not, the first test of anyone that I might want to date is making sure you like them. Why do you think I just ran down the list of potentials?" I ask.
"I doubt I'll ever like anyone you date," Leo says, pushing the remaining food on his plate around.
I throw a fry at him. "Rude!"
He looks at me confused for a second before laughing. "I'm just saying, you have terrible taste."
"I do not."
"Ok, your last boyfriend got expelled. For arson."
I cover my face. "Oh my god, that was one time. They all haven't been that bad."
"Let's make a deal," Leo says, serious again. "If we're both not married by 30 we'll just marry each other."
My heart skips a beat and my cheeks flush. I try to keep my voice as level as possible. "Doesn't sound too bad."
Leo chuckles. "I could definitely think of worse people to be stuck with."
I forget how to breathe.
I stretch my hand out over the table. "Deal."
"Deal," he says, taking my hand in his and shaking it.
Suddenly, staying single doesn't sound so bad.