Before You Go

Advice

"Goodluck today, Kookie!" Jimin hyung ruffled my hair as we parted ways.

Today is the big day.

"I'm sure you're going to be a part of the final lineup," Eunwoo nudged me.

I chuckled, shyly smiling at him. "I hope so."

I practiced so hard to be a part of the final lineup to be sent to compete. I swear that I almost strained my voice because of it. I'll make them proud.

The final lineup was then announced one by one.

And as more names got called, the more anxious I became.

The final name was announced, "And . . . Park Chaeyoung! Congratulations!" Everyone began to applaud.

I stood there, frozen on my spot.

My name . . . didn't get called.

>><<

I was happy for them, don't get me wrong. She got accepted in the eliminations but I didn't.

However, I just couldn't help but feel disappointed in myself. Here I was inside my classroom, alone, hugging my knees as I sat on the cold floor.

Don't cry.

Like what others tell me, I'm a man, I shouldn't cry.

Don't cry.

It's not like it's a big loss anyway, I shouldn't cry.

Don't cry.

I heard subtle knocks coming from the door, causing me to immediately turn my head, eyes widening upon seeing Lalisa there. She subtly smiled at me, seemingly hesitant to come in.

I shouldn't let her see me cry again.

She entered the room, looking around in amusement. "So this is what a music major's classroom looks like." She dawns her eyes back to me. "Sorry if I came unannounced. I was waiting at our bench and I saw all your classmates coming out but——"

I immediately looked away the moment she glanced at me and furrow her eyebrows. "Oh I just wanted to practice some more, that's all . . ." I then changed the topic. Right, gotta be strong. "Are you feeling better, by the way? How are you?"

She gave me a light chuckle. I am genuinely concerned about her. I haven't heard any other news of her after she collapsed. She shook her head, giving me a reassuring smile. "May I sit down beside you?" she asks.

"O–of course," I mumbled whilst nodding my head just in case she didn't hear me.

I was surprised when she didn't sit down beside me, she knelt down in front of me with a reassuring smile. She then leaned in, and embraced me. "I don't know what happened, but you can cry," she whispered.

"Nothing happened——" I tried to lie.

However, she embraced me even tighter, beginning to stroke my hair. "You seem like you're disappointed in yourself today. You can let it out. Don't hold back. It's okay."

"Boys don't cry——"

"Everyone has emotions," she cut me off. "Crying doesn't need a gender."

I felt my shoulders deflate as I slowly gave in. Tears unknowingly came rushing down my cheeks. "I . . ." I was at loss for words. I didn't bother to rebut any further.

"We all have these days, Kookie. More than you can count," Lalisa tells me as she continues to stroke my hair. "You're allowed to feel that way. Just cry it all out today and don't beat yourself up for too long."