WINGS

Five

You're shaking. With your blades in your hands, you're ready to go slice her neck. It should be you. You lost your entire squad. You're the last one from Squad Y/N. It let you go. And you intend to find out why.

But just as you take a step forward, Erwin says, "Wait, Y/N." You pause but don't look back at him. You keep staring at the Titan in front of you. Her hands are protecting her nape, but if you cut them at the wrists, it shouldn't be a problem. "We can't be too careful. Second and third waves! Fire!"

Levi grabs your wrist and pulls you back into his chest as more of the netting fires into the Titan. You lean into him a little bit, warmth filling you up. Shots fill your ears and as you keep staring at the beast, all you see is red. How many soldiers has it killed today?

As the firing stops, Levi lets go of your waist but you stay in place. The three of you are all glowering down at the creature. You have a feeling you and Erwin have the same general feeling. Erwin lost so many of his men. You did too. But Levi still has his entire group.

That does make you a bit upset. What did you do to deserve this? Your entire squad is gone. Your closest comrades, friends. Your family is dead. But Levi still has his people. That's not fair.

"Levi." Erwin turns to your friend. "You and Mike go cut the traitor out."

No. It should be you. "Commander, I--"

"No, Y/N." Erwin looks down at you firmly. "You stay here with me. That's an order."

"Sir, I--"

"I said that's an order!" he repeats in a more forceful voice. It's loud and makes you step back. Sure, Erwin's yelled, but you've never heard him get angry. Especially not at you.

He is your commanding officer, so you give him a salute. "Yessir."

Levi gives you one last look before firing up into the trees.

You sheath your swords and sigh heavily. Your hair is falling in front of your face, so you tuck it behind your ears. "Commander? Can I ask something?"

"What is it?" Erwin looks at you.

You can't muster the strength to look at him. So you focus on Hange below you and swallow thickly. "How do you tell the families of fallen soldiers that their relative is dead?"

He's silent for a few moments. "You and I are very different, Y/N."

"You don't say?" You look up at him with a raised brow and a small smirk.

He chuckles. "I'm a colder, more stoic person. You, on the other hand, are honestly one of the warmest scouts I've ever known. You're nice to everybody and you form a connection with everyone around you. When I've had to break the news to families, I've always told them strait up. As much as I don't like to admit it, I'm unable to get to know all of my soldiers personally. That doesn't mean it makes their death any more bearable of course. Your situation is different. You had a squad you had for at least three years. And you knew each person on it personally. Their death is more personal to you."

Now is not a good time to cry. "That didn't answer my question, sir," you say with a strained voice.

"What I mean is that there is no right or wrong way to inform families about their deceased loved one. It's not something that is universal. It all depends on the person and how close they were. And I'm afraid that I can't tell you how to tell them. That's something you're going to have to figure out on your own."

Before you can reply with some sappy comeback, both of you catch sight of Mike and Levi launching themselves up over the nape of the Titan. Your eyes widen and you lean forward. Finally, you're going to know who killed so many soldiers. You're going to know who killed your squad.