Random Book That Full Of Cringe

Another random incorrect quotes that I take from incorrect quotes generator

Ash: And now for a gay update with Reki and Tanjiro.
Emma: Getting gayer.
Ash: Thank you, Emma.

Emma: So... I've seen you've been spending a lot of time with Takemichi recently.
Ash: No, Emma, it's not what it looks like, I swear.
Emma: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?
Ash: No! You're the only one for me.
Emma: Is that so?
Ash: I promise! Takemichi and I are just dating, okay? He's my partner.
Emma: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved?
Ash: You are still my one and only best friend! He's just the love of my life, nothing more!
Emma: But I'm still the platonic love of your life, right?
Ash: Of course bro!
Emma: Bro...
Takemichi: What the-

Takemichi, at Ash's funeral: I need a moment with him.

Everyone: Of course. *They leave*

Takemichi, leaning over Ash′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you're not dead.
Ash: Yeah, no shit.

Itadori: I think it's time I get my life in order.

Takemichi, narrating: But they did not get their life in order. In fact, they got drunk last night and fought a raccoon..

Ash, admiring a sleeping Reki: You're so cute.
Reki, sleepily: I could beat your ass.
Ash, lovingly: I know.

Itadori: Are you mad?
Ash: No.
Itadori: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

Emma: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway.
Ash:
Emma: Vroom vroom, come out already.

Itadori: Why aren't you sleeping?
Ash: I'm to busy plotting your murder to sleep, Itadori.
Itadori:
Ash: ...The nightmares.
Itadori: *wrapping their arms around Ash* Awwww, sweetie-

Ash: I still don't have a New Year's resolution.
Ai: You could lose a few.
Itadori: You could be less lazy.
Violet: Don't be such a bitch.
Ash: Okay DAMN, SHIT.

Itadori: I give up. I am so tired.
Violet: Get the emergency supply!
Ai: *carries Ash and places them in front of Itadori*
Ash: *smiles*
Itadori: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET'S GOOO

Takemichi: Ash, we're hungry!
Itadori: Ash! What's for dinner?
Violet: We're hungry, Ash!
Ash, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams*

Takemichi: My stomach growled super loud in French.
Takemichi: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class.
Itadori: Bonjour.
Ash: Le growl.
Violet: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.

Itadori: Where's Takemichi?
Violet: Don't worry, I'll find them.
Violet, shouting: Ash sucks!
Takemichi, distantly: Ash is the best person ever! Fuck you!
Violet: Found them.

Takemichi: *is hugging Ash*
Itadori: Hey! It's my turn to hug Ash!
Itadori: *grabs Ash*
Violet: *kicking down the door* What do you mean, "yOuR tUrN"? We agreed now is my time slot!
Takemichi: No, It's still my turn!
Ash: *suffocating* Guys, I love you, but just because I'm the smallest doesn't mean you can be hugging me constantly!
Itadori: But we need the moral support!
Takemichi: And you're small! Which is cute!
Violet: If I don't hug you right now I think the depression will kick in and my body will stop functioning.
Ash: *close to tears* Well- I, I guess.

Ash, as a child, reading their school assignment out loud: I love my library because...
Ash, mouthing words while writing: I love reading, fuck you.

Ai: Where are your parents?
Emma: What are parents?
Ai: That's just about the saddest thing I ever heard get said.

Takemichi: You have Crayons?
Ash: Yes, I have-
Takemichi: You're- how old are you?
Ash: YES I AM AN ADULT AND I HAVE CRAYONS, I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE TV BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS.

Ash: Fight me!
Takemichi, standing behind them and holding a knife: *mouths* Do not.

*While planning to break in somewhere*
Ash: Hey, let's do "Get Help!"
Takemichi: What?
Ash: "Get Help."
Takemichi: No.
Ash: C'mon, you love it!
Takemichi: I hate it.
Ash: It's great! It works every time!
Takemichi: It's humiliating.
Ash: Do you have a better plan?
Takemichi: No.
Ash: We're doing it!
Takemichi: We are not doing "Get Help!"
*A Minute Later*
Ash, carrying Takemichi: Get help! Please! They're dying! Help Them! *throws Takemichi at guards, knocking them out*
Ash: Ahh, classic!
Takemichi: *gets up* I still hate it. It's humiliating.
Ash, laughing: Not for me, it's not.

Emma, watching Takemichi and Itadori fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt?
Ash, not bothered by the chaos: It's fine. They're too evenly matched to hurt each other.
Emma: Then... who's the strongest out of you three?
Takemichi: Ash.
Itadori: Ash.
Ash: Me.

Itadori: *visiting the squad* Hello, I just came to-
Itadori: *sees Emma shoving Violet into the washing machine while Ash records and Takemichi watches*
Itadori: *retreating* Something suddenly came up.

Emma: Hey, let's mess with Violet, guys!
Itadori: Hey, Violet, your momma so fat-
Violet: My mom committed multiple war crimes and is now locked in solitary confinement in a Bolivian prison.
Takemichi: Well, uh- your dad-
Violet: My father left when I was two to be captured and consequentially sacrificed by a group of feral ferrets.
Itadori: The fuck-
Ash: Well then...
Emma: Stop, Ash!
Ash: Your grandparents so-
Violet: My grandmother floated into the sky like a balloon with too much helium when my grandfather spontaneously combusted.
Violet: You cannot beat me, mortals.

Ash: Uh, Violet? Itadori is in the pool and I don't think they're waterproof.
Violet: What?
Emma: I think they meant, Itadori is drowning.
Violet: WHAT?!
*Meanwhile*
Itadori: *is drowning*
Takemichi: OH MY GOD, ITADORI! KEEP SWIMMING!
Itadori: I can't swim, dumbass- *sinks*
Takemichi: ITADORI!

Violet: How do you connect with a fictional character?
Ash: What?
Itadori: What?
Takemichi: What?
Emma: *pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.

Itadori: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl....
Takemichi: ....
Emma: .....
Violet: ......
Ash: ..Who?
Itadori: That's the thing we don't-
*Everyone stares at Ash*

*Everyone is giving advice to Emma*
Itadori: It's okay to ask for help.
Violet: You're not a burden.
Ash: Murder is okay.
Takemichi: Your feelings matter.

Violet: Ash has no survival skills, their need to win has replaced them.
Takemichi: That can't be true!
Violet: Watch this.
Violet: Hey Ash, race you to the bottom of the stairs!
Ash: *Throws themself out a window*

*Everyone is playing a board game together*
Violet: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.
Takemichi: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.
Itadori: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.
Ash: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'.
Itadori: *flips the board*

Ash: Die.
Violet: Please don't die!
Ash: DIE!
Violet: PLEASE DON'T DIE!
Takemichi, confused: Why are they yelling at a plant?
Itadori, watching while eating popcorn: They bought it together and Violet wants Ash to accept it as their kid.

Violet: Those darn tall old people.
Takemichi: Darm em' indeed.
Itadori: Don't worry, they'll be gone soon enough.
Ash: *sharpening knife* Yes. Dead.
The Squad:
Ash: Hahaha.
Ash: ...Is this self-destructive behaviour?