▪︎Kick ass!!▪︎ Eric cartman x reader

Adventure

Cartman the fatass immediately bolted down the stairs to see what food was prepared while I stayed up and fixed things he wrecked

"Y/nnnnn your mom said that you had to get your ass downstairs" cartman goes into my room again then runs back down

I go downstairs and see cartman,his mom and my mom all at the dinner table with FRIED CHICKEN!

"Oh hey honey, your little friend is staying for dinner and I hope you don't mind but instead of F/F we're having friend chicken!" My mom pills out a chair for me and I sit down

I mumble multiple curses under my breath as I look down at the fried chicken on my plate

The fat fuck reaches over to my plate and takes he skin off of my fucking chicken!

"Hey fatass that's mine!"

"Uhhh no it's on my plate so it's technically mine" He smirks and rips the skin from all of the chicken then eating it

"And I'm not fat! I'm big boned bitch!"

Everyone is silent for the rest of dinner with cartmans occasional laugh and him loudly chewing his food

"It seems like you two kids are getting on great!" The fat boys mom says as her son gobbles down what could've been an entire factory of chicken legs

"Oh yes, how would little Eric like to stay for a sleepover tonight?" My mom says collecting everyone's plates

"Aw sweetie wouldn't you like that?" His mom rubs is head and smiles

"But mooooommm me and my friends are going out tonight!" He whines

"I'm sure y/n wouldn't mind going, would you y/n?" My mom sets everyone's dishes beside out new sink and smiles

"Fine I'll go" I cross my arms then get up and leave to my room

"Cartman cmon let's go get your things" his mom gets up and pushes her chair in, she waves goodbye to my mom and leaves with her brat of a son

After awhile he came back with a bag of things and he was on a call with people

"Yeah dudes I have to stay with some chicken tonight so let's all meet up at the new kids house" He said then multiple voices flooded the phone

"Are you getting laid?" Someone with  muffled voice asked

"Ew no way dude, who would have sex with cartman" another voice said then cartman left the call

"Oh hey Eric, there's a spare room upstairs and you can go put your things up there" My mom smiled at cartman and he walked up stairs

He put his bags away then barged into my room

"Cmon emo we're leaving now" He rolls his eyes and leaves again

I put my shoes on and grab a small bag, I put my phone in it with some air pods and follow him out of the door

"Hurry up emo we're gonna be late" He says opening the front door and leaving again

"Bye mom!" I shout before leaving

There was three other boys standing infornt of my house waiting for cartman

"Heyyy guyss" He made finger guns as he walked up to his friends

"Okay so everyone knows the plan right? We're sneaking into the abandoned cheese factory and looking for some hidden treasure" some guy in a blue and red hat said pulling out a map

Another boy in an orange parka said something muffled about how the inside of the factory was supposed to have sex dolls hidden in it and I cringed

"Oh hey newkid right?" A boy in a green hat and orange coat asks

"Uh no my na-" Eric interputs me "Jews aren't supposed to speak until their spoken to!"

"Fuck off fatass" the other kid shouts back and they start to fight

I introduce myself to the other two boys and their names are Stan and Kenny, they also told me about Kyle and how him and cartman hate eachother

Kyle hit cartman across his face and cartman had like a breakdown and started crying "moooooommm" He shouts down the street and cries

"Hurry up, we only have a couple hours until the factory is getting destroyed!" Stan yells and runs off with Kenny following him

Cartman and Kyle stop fighting and run off too

"Shit this is going to be annoying" I sigh and follow them

730 words s