Outlander

Sassenach

(The dress at the top is the one she went missing in)

~Miriam narration~
People disappear all the time. Young girls run away from home. Children stray their parents and are never seen again. Housewives take the grocery money and a taxi to the train station. Most are found eventually. Disappearances, after all, have explanations. Usually. Strange, the things you remember. Single images and feelings that stay with you down through the years. Like the moment I realized, I'd never owned and vase. That I've never lived in any place long enough to justify having such a simple thing. And how at that moment, I wanted nothing so much in all the world as to have a case of my very own. It was a Tuesday afternoon, six months after the end of the war. Somehow in my mind V-E day, the end of the most bloodiest and most terrible war in human history, grows fainter with each passing day. But I can still recall every detail of the day, when I saw the life I wanted sitting in a window. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I'd bought the vase and made a home for it. Would that have changed things? Would I have been happy? Who can say. I do know this. Even now, after all the pain and death, and heartbreak that followed, I still would make the same choice. We were in Scotland on our second honeymoon. Or at least that's what John called it. A way to celebrate the end of the war years and begin our lives anew. But it was more than that. I think we both felt a holiday would be convenient masquerade for the real business of getting to know the people we'd become after five years apart.

~Miriam POV~
When we finally arrived at Inverness I admired how small and quaint the town was, it was quite adorable. Soon John asks, " what to you suppose that is?" I turn around to look at what he was referring to as I say, " Huh? Oh good lord, blood." John asks, " are you sure?" I say, " I think I should know the look of blood by now." John says, " there's a stain just like it on the house next door." I look back to where I was originally looking and say, " There's two more over there." John grabs our things and starts walking after me as I head towards our bed and breakfast, " we seem to be surrounded by homes marked with blood." I say, " Perhaps Pharaohs refused Moses and the spirit of death will travel the streets of Inverness tonight, sparing only those who mark their doors with lambs blood." John says, " you may be closer than you think. Could as well be a sacrificial practice but I suspect pagan rather than Hebrew." I say, " I had no idea Inverness was such a hotbed of contemporary paganism." John says, " Well, my dear, there's no place on earth with more magic and superstition mixed into its daily life than the Scottish Highlands." I give a short laugh as we both stand in front of the door and I nods towards it and say, " Shall we?" John says, " lead on." I enter first as John is not far behind me. As John is signing us in the front desk woman and owner of the inn says, " The blood you saw was that of a black cockerel. It's and old custom at this time of year to make such a sacrifice to honor Saint Odhran." John says, " Odhran, he was sainted in the eighth century?" She smiles and says, " you know your history." I gently reach out and hold onto John's arm as I say, " I'm afraid my husband is a historian Mrs. Baird. He'd quite happily stand here holding forth for hours if you encourage him." John says, "Hardly. Highland folklore is far from my specialty, but am I right in thinking there's an....is there and old saying associated with Saint Odhran?" Mrs. Baird then goes on to say the saying in Gaelic and after she is done John says, "Yes. 'The earth went over Odhran's eyes.' He was buried alive voluntarily." I say, " Charming." Mrs. Baird asks, " are you a professor then, Mr. Ainsworth?" John says, " I will be soon." I say happily, "He's accepted a post at Oxford beginning in two weeks." Mrs. Baird says, " Then this is a last holiday before settling down to a workday life again, is it? Well you've picked a Bonnie time to be here, just nigh on Samhain." I say, " I take it that's Gaelic for Halloween?" John says, " Well, Halloween is derived from Samhain. The church often took pagan holidays and renamed them for their own purposes. Samhain became Halloween, Yule became Christmas, and so on..." Mrs. Baird says, " well your both welcome at the festival, of course. Mind you ghosts are freed on the feast days, and they'll be wandering about, free to do good or I'll as they please." I say, "Of course. What would Halloween...Samhain be without a good ghost story?" Mrs. Baird says, " And we have those for sure. I'll show you to your room." After getting settled in and spending a few days with a priest in his home helping John track down his ancestor and visiting an old castle. John wanted to take me to craigh na fun where he said witches would me preforming that night. As we watched them move gracefully about I could feel something inside pull me closer to the circle of stones. It was weird not to say the least and I was confused by it. Later that morning John went to go to the priest house again while I stayed behind to read a book all the while still thinking of Craigh na dun. Soon the pull became too much and I decided to travel back there telling myself it was under the pretense of collecting a plant I saw. While I was admiring some forget-me-nots I heard the grumbling and pounding of thunder. The sky was clear, the wind began to whip around my loose red hair as I tried to search for the source of the sound. When I finally narrowed down where it was coming from, I was confused it was coming from the stone in the center of the circle. I began to slowly walk towards it and the wind intensified. I stood in front of it arms length a way before I started to reach out and I finally placed my hands on the rock. Soon everything went black and I felt so weightless like I was slow motion rolling in a car. When I finally woke up I saw a clear sky and the warmth of the sun. I slowly sat up and looked around, there was no road, I couldn't see the town, and the grass was much shorter and greener. I quickly got up and left my blanket laying on the ground as I began to worriedly look around. I was confused and beginning to panic. I started to walk in the direction of town hoping to find my way back. I began to wander through the forest I had no idea where I was going. I was stopped in my tracks with the sound of a gunshot, I began looking around to find where this shot was. When I looked to the ridge I saw two 17th century British soldiers running into the woods. More shots rang out as more soldiers ran through the forest, I then began to run as well away from the soldiers. My first thought was a cinema was shooting a costume drama and that I had stumbled onto its set. I then tripped and begin rolling down a hill when I finally stop rolling I stand up and see a Scottish man speak Gaelic before firing a shot at the soldiers. I watch in disbelief before a soldier fires a shot at me I duck as he runs after the Scottish man. There was no practical reason for the cinema to be using live ammunition. I begin to run as fast as I could away from the soldiers while they fire another shot at me. I run into a small creek and a soldier drinking from it. I back up as the man stands up I ask, " who are you?" He takes a step towards me and says, " I am captain Jack Ainsworth of the Queens dragoon." I stare at him for a moment and I feel very uncomfortable around him and I take off running. He begins to chase after me, he traps me up against a wall with his sword as he asks, " who are you?" I say, " My husband will be expecting me, he'll come looking if I'm not back in 10 minutes." He says, " who is he?" He roughly grabs my dress and says, " who is he?!" I had to think of something quick so I say, " John." He says, " John what?" I reply, " John O'Connor, he's a teacher." He says, " it's a pleasure to meet you John O'Connor the teacher's wife, but you must take me a fool. You must tell me exactly who you are and why you are here." I struggle against him but he pushes me back to the wall. He says, " madam or you will find my patience is not infinite." I say, " get off me you bastard." I spit in his face and he turns his head to me side. He sheathes his sword while saying, " the speech of a lady the words of a whore." He flips me over so my stomach is pressed against the cliff side. He begins to lift my skirt when something falls off the cliff and lands on the captain, I can make out that it is a person, a highlander. The highlander knocks out the captain and waves his hand towards him and says something in Gaelic which I don't understand. I take his hand and he leads me away from the captain and I say, " who are you? Where are we going?" We hide behind a tree as some soldiers run past I try to call out for help but he covers my mouth and takes his knife and hits me over the head with it. When I woke up I was on a horse in front of the highlander. We were approaching a small cottage where there were other horses outside. We stopped and we dismounted the horse he grabbed me by the back of my hair and roughly opened the door and pushed me inside where there were at least 8 men. They began speaking Gaelic about me I presume as I stood by the fire keeping my eyes pointed towards the floor as they watched me. An older Scottish man walks over to me and grabs my arm and leads me towards the fire while saying, " well let's have a look at you lass." We stop in front of the fire and say, " I trust you can see me now." He says, " what's your name lass?" I hesitate for a moment before saying, "Miriam, Miriam Lockwood ." He repeats my name, " Miriam Lockwood." I say, " that's right and what the hell—" I and cut off by the man as he says to the man who brought me to the cottage while his eyes don't leave my form, " you said you found her?" The man replies, " Aye, she was found having words with a certain captain we are acquainted, there was a question of whether the lady was a whore." The older man says, " and what was the lady's position in this discussion?" I say bitterly, " I am not." Another highlander says, " we could put her to the test." The older man says, " I don't hold with rape. There will be another time for it anyway." the other highlander says, " I don't know what she is or who but I'll stick to it she's no whore." Dougal says, " we'll puzzle it later." Dougal walks away from me and heads over to a young man who looks like his arm has been dislocated. He says, " we've got a distance to go tonight and we have to do something about Jamie first." I watch as they discuss putting the joint back in place. They are about to break his arm when I yell, " don't you dare!" I walk towards them and they draw their knives and point them towards me I say, "do it like that and you'll break his arm." I turn to Dougal and say, " you have to put the arm in the correct position before it goes back into joint." Dougal looks at me for a moment before stepping aside, they all sheath their knives and I walk closer to the young man now identified as Jamie. He stares at me for a moment and our eyes meet for a second before I reach down and touch his arm. He huffs our in pain as I say, " hold him steady." A man holds him steady from the behind and I nod at him to make sure he is ready he nods back at me letting me know that he is ready. I put the arm back in position and I look up at his face and say, " this is the worst part." He nods as I help slide the joint back into the socket he groans in pain before letting go of his held breath as it was finally in the socket. I place his hand to his opposite shoulder and hold it there as he says something in Gaelic before saying in English, " it doesn't hurt anymore." I say, " it will, it'll be tender for about a week. You'll need a sling." I turn my attention to one of the highlanders and say, " you fetch me a long piece of cloth or a belt." He replies snarkily , " fetch me she says, you hear the lass?" Dougal say, " give her your belt." He begins to give me a belt as Jamie says, " taken a guess you've done this before." I reply, " Aye, I'm a nurse." He says, " Aye" as he looks down to my chest I say, " not a wet nurse." His eyes move down to his lap. I take the belt and begin to make a sling I say, " you mustn't move the joint for 2 or 3 days, when you begin to use it again go slowly at first and stop if it hurts and use warm compresses on it daily." I sigh before saying, " how does that feel?" He replies, " better, thank you." I nod and step back from Jamie. Dougal says, " can you ride?" Jamie replies while staring at me, " Aye" Dougal says, " good we're leaving" as he throws a coat at Jamie. He stands and begins to head outside with me in toe while he follows after the rest of the highlanders. I look out and say, " where is it? The city. It should be visible from here." Jamie gives me a smile and says, " Inverness, your staring right at it." He walks off to go get his horse I presume as he leaves me to look at the town that was once visible. No electric lights were visible I knew in my heart despite my rational mind I knew I wasn't in the 20th century anymore. Dougal says, " you'll help yourself up." He grabs my arm and drags me towards Jamie's horse while saying, " you best stick close to us and if you try anything I'll slit your throat for you." Jaime grabs my hand as Dougal says, " give me your foot." He helps me mount so I am sitting in front of Jamie. I notice Jamie is leaning to one side and I say, " what are you doing? Be careful." He replies, " I'm trying to get my flap to cover ya, you're shivering." I say, " thank you really but I'm fine." He leans closer to my ear and say, " you're shivering so hard your making my teeth rattle. The flap will keep us both warm but it's hard one handed can you reach it." I take the flap and bring over my shoulders. I hold the ends to my chest as he says, " we don't want you to freeze before sun-up." I say, " sun-up? You mean we will be riding all night?" He nods and says, " all night and the next night too I reckon. Fine time of year for a ride though." I look up at the rain as Dougal says something in Gaelic and we begin our long journey. While riding the next day I notice a rock face off near the hills. I remember frank talking about while on one of our excursions I say, " I know this place." Jamie replies, " you've been here before have you?" I reply, " yes" as I remember what John has said to Me about it. I say, " I recognize that rock the one that looks like a cocks tail but I don't remember the name." Jamie says the name I say, " the British use it for ambushes, they could be lying in wait now."  Jamie looks around and says, " it's a Bonnie place for an ambush right enough." He kicks his horse forward so we are in pace with Dougal. Jamie and Dougal have a conversation in Gaelic about what I had told Jamie. Dougal turns to me and says, " now you'll tell me exactly how and why you know there is an ambush here." I reply, " I don't know, I heard the redcoats use—" he cuts me off by saying, " where did you hear?" I reply, " in the village." He turns to look in front of himself before signaling the rest of the Highlanders. Jamie pushes me off the horse and says, " hide yourself!" I roll towards the stream as they ride off. I lay by some bushes and watch as redcoats pop out from behind a hill and begin shooting at the highlanders. I get up and quickly run the opposite way hoping to escape my captors and the gunfire. I don't get very far when Jamie comes riding up he says, " lost your way?" I stand close to some trees behind me. He dismounts and starts walking towards me with his sword drawn. I say, " I hope you haven't been miss using that shoulder. Your hurt." He replies, " this is not all my blood." I try to run away but be block me with his sword he says, " Dougal and the others will be waiting farther up stream. We should go." I try to run again while saying, " I'm not going with you." Jamie says, " yes you are" he points his sword at my chest I say, " are you going to cut my throat if I don't?" He replies, " No, you don't look that heavy. If you won't walk I will pick you up and throw you over my shoulder, now do you want me to do that?" He grabs hold of my arm I say, " no." I release my arm from his grip and he says, " well then I suppose your coming with me." He brings me over to the horse and we begin our ride back to the others. On the way over he groans in pain and I say, " serves you right you might have torn your muscle as well as bruising." He says, " Well, I had to. If I didn't move my arm, I can handle a redcoat with one hand maybe 2 but not three." We finally join the group as they stand in a little clearing waiting for us. Jamie says, " beside you can fix it for me again when we get to where we are going." I reply, " that's what you think." One of the highlanders says, " thank you lass for tipping us about the redcoats and giving us a bit of fun." He takes a swig as everyone says something as Gaelic, soon he offers the pouch of alcohol to Jamie and Jamie gladly takes it. He takes a sip before saying, " have a wee nip, it won't fill your belly but it will make you forget your hungry." I hesitate before taking the pouch and having a swig of the alcohol. We then continue our journey. While riding through the night I feel Jamie slowly leaning to one side and sliding off the horse. I try and stop him from falling off I call out, " Stop! Help he's going over." He hits the ground and I quickly get down to help him. I say to two men as they too rush to his aid, " help me get him up." They lean him against a tree. I undo the sling and open his shirt and see a bullet hole. I say, " gunshot wound, idiot could have said something. It's gone straight through the muscle I don't think it's serious but he's lost a lot of blood he'll need to be disinfected before I can dress it properly." One highlander says, " disinfected?" I say, " yes it must be cleaned of dirt to protect it from germs." Another highlander says, " germs?" I say, " just get me some alcohol." One of the highlanders hands me a pouch of alcohol and I pour a little into the bullet hole. Jamie wakes with a start and I say, " welcome back." He says, " I'm alright just a wee bit dizzy." I say, " you are not alright, couldn't you tell you were bleeding? Your lucky your not dead, what were you thinking brawling and throwing yourself off horses." He stares at me while I work on cleaning his wound. I say, " alright I need some sterile bandage and some clean cloth" the highlanders look at me confused and I say frustrated, " Jesus Roosevelt Christ." As I rip a piece of my dress to use as a bandage. I pour some alcohol on the scrap of my dress and begin cleaning the wound. Jamie groans in pain and I say, " easy." After I'm finished cleaning the wound I say, " lift him up." The highlander kneeling on the ground beside Jamie leans him forward. I try to unravel a piece of my dress to use as a bandage and when it doesn't I get frustrated and say, " come on you god damn bloody bastard." Dougal says, " I've never heard a women use such language before." Another highlander says, " your husband should tan your hide wee woman." Another chimes in, " as Saint Paul says a woman be—" I cut him off and say, " you can mind your god damn bloody business and so can Saint Paul." I turn to bandaging Jamie up I say, " and if you move a bloody muscle while I'm bandaging you I will throttle you." Jamie says, " ah threats is it, after I shared my drink with you." Dougal says, " we have 50 miles to go yet 5 or maybe 7 hours, we'll stay long enough for you to bandage him no more." He walks off to his horse, I follow after him and say, " he needs rest. Did you hear me?" Jamie says, " Ainsworth..." I turn around I walk back to Jamie to tighten the bandages as he continues, " the officer you encountered won't give up so easily. He commands the redcoats here abouts he's probably already sent parties out in all directions. We cannot stay here long." I say, " you know Ainsworth? Black jack Ainsworth that is." Jamie replies, " Aye, I don't want you or anyone else being taken prisoner by that man. If you'll kindly fix me up well enough to ride or they'll be leaving me here with a loaded pistol, so I can determine my own fate." I say, " you could've told me you were shot before you fell off the horse." Jamie replies, " it didn't hurt much at the time." I give him an annoyed look. I say, " does it hurt now?" He replies, " Aye." I say, " good" Jamie chuckles as I continue, " that's all that I can do the rest is up to you." I stand up and offer him my hand he takes it and I help him up. We stare at each other as he says, " thank you Sassenach, truly." I get lost in his eyes for a moment before I turn my gaze away. I say, " alright then on your horse soldier." We mount the horses and continue our journey through to the next morning, until we finally reach castle Leoch. I was told of this place by John two days ago or was that in the future. How could I remember something that hadn't happened yet? During my time here I had been assaulted, threatened, kidnapped, and nearly raped but I knew my journey here had only just begun.