The Seasons of You

SEVEN

And I'm still in love with the idea

of loving you

It's a state of flux

I'm losing you.

Bit by bit, you slip a little farther away from me. You blow me off to hang out with your friends, and once was fine, twice was fine, but now you do it without thinking.

I read, somewhere, that some people in love became an island, a receding one, if that is possible, retreating from everyone else. If you are an island, would that make me a ship, docked at your shore? Will there then come a day when I pull off your sands and sail away? The ocean is so vast, so fathomless, and I cannot weather it alone.

Time can dry the rainiest springs, freeze the hottest summers, bleach the most vivid autumns, thaw the longest winters. Everything eventually succumbs to time.

When it all falls down, what will remain of us?

Although Emilia wasn't sure she had the mental strength to put on a show for her classmates, she did promise Will to attend his game, and unlike him, promises still meant something to her.

So she shrugged a sweater on and wrapped a scarf around her neck, trying to be as inconspicuous as she could from where she sat, huddled on the bleachers. The afternoon sun warmed her seat, enough to be comfortable but not hot. Thank goodness for November. If she had tried to pull this off in the summer, she might've drowned in her own sweat.

Spying Addison and her posse of friends, Emilia ducked her head lower. It wasn't that she disliked Addison. She had always treated Emilia with nothing but friendliness, in fact, too much friendliness.

Yes, Emilia thought Addison's enthusiasm was annoying.

The game was between her school and Eastwood Charter School. The inner mechanisms of football were a mystery to her. She knew the ball should be kicked into the nets to score points, but that was the extent of her knowledge.

Once at one of Will's earlier games, seeing the ball enter a net, she leapt up and cheered, only to realise that she was the only one to do so. As it turned out, the net the ball went into was their school's. Her classmates had all gaped at her, betrayal gleaming in their eyes.

Having learned that very painful lesson, she was careful not to celebrate too soon, relying on the commentator to understand the game. Nevertheless, watching Will glide around the field, his expression so alive, was magic in itself.

A smile tugged at her lips as Will fist-pumped the air after scoring a goal, thumping a teammate - Dan? Dean? - on the back.

The stand shook with stomping feet, spectators lurching up from their seats and screaming out the final countdown.

"Five! Four! Three! Two! One!" Cheers erupted on the bleachers, and Emilia found herself being carried by the crowd as it surged to the playing field. They won 4-3. She forced her way through the throng of screaming students, managing to catch a glimpse of Will's victorious grin before the shifting mass of people blocked her vision again.

When the team disappeared into the changing rooms, the spectators scattered.

Emilia strolled back to the school, waiting for her boyfriend by the locker room door.

A series of whoops announced the team's arrival.

The door swung open, admitting eleven sweaty boys with hair soaked from their showers. The smile on Will's face broadened as he bounded to her side and kissed her senseless. His eyes had fluttered shut, eyelashes a curtain of bronze that settled on his cheeks, still slightly flushed from exertion. Then they flew open to wolf whistles and raucous cheers.

She broke away from him to see Kyle smirking at them.

Thomas held his hands over his eyes. "There's no need to constantly remind me I'm single."

"Exactly. No kissing in front of children." Kyle eyed a certain someone pointedly.

Laughing lightly, she clasped Will's hands in hers. "Congratulations on that victory."

"Will you hold my hand too? I won that match with him!" Thomas whined. A huff of breath escaped him as her foot connected with his shin. "You two are disgustingly in love. Come on, Kyle, let's go to the party and find someone to flirt with."

Will watched them go. Seeing the longing in his eyes, she nudged him gently. "Go on. I need to stop by my house to change into party-appropriate attire anyway. I'll meet you there in fifteen."

Shooting her a grateful look, he jogged off.

She set off to the carpark, Thomas' offhand comment rewinding in her head.

Disgustingly in love. Was that how it appeared to everyone else?

In their eyes, she and Will were the golden couple, but only Emilia understood, in piercing, agonising clarity, the distance between them.

---------------------------------------------

If only there was a little more traffic on the road; if only she hadn't returned home right then; if only she had entered through the back door; then, the situation may have been different.

If only there were that many if onlys in the world.

But once the wheels were set in motion, nothing could stop their turning.

A/N

Song: Flux by Ellie Goulding. This song is so bittersweet, it fits the vibe so well.

Three chapters till the end, and two more letters. I'm going to miss the letters, I enjoyed writing them so much.