The Seasons of You

TEN

There are times that walk from you

like some passing afternoon

Emilia sat on the floor, her back against the bedpost. In her grasp were seven letters, all unsent and addressed to the same person. Blowing out a breath, she sifted through the papers, acquainting herself with those words for the last time. Then, in one swift movement, she tore the letters neatly into fours and let them slip through her fingers, into the trash can.

As the papers fluttered down, she took her phone and dialled a number.

"Hello, you've reached William Farley-Chan. I can't come to the phone right now, but please feel free to leave a message after the beep."

A long beep sounded.

"Will, it's Emilia," she began. "We need to talk."

---------------------------------------------

The following morning, Emilia waited at the local park for Will to arrive.

At this hour, the park was empty. The sky was a serene dove grey, brightened with twilight. Perched on the swing set, she traced patterns in the snow with the tip of her boot.

Footsteps sounded, and she looked up to see Will trudging towards her. His face was wan, presumably from a hangover, and dark circles rimmed his eyes.

"Em, my head is killing me." He groaned. "How much did I drink last night? Were you at the party? I don't remember you being there. Then again, I don't remember much from last night."

"Will," she said, pausing his rambling. "I think we should break up."

His mouth hung open. "..Pardon me?"

"I think we should break up."

Silence. 

"Was I that drunk? Whatever I did, I'm sorry, but-"

"It's not about that." She had practiced what to say countless times, but she threw it all out of the window. Will deserved better than a canned speech. Taking a deep breath, she said, "My parents are getting divorced."

"What? When? Is that what this is about?"

She sighed. "No. I found out yesterday, when I walked in on them talking about it. That was why I was late to the party."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." She hid her hands in the pockets of her coat. "I'm sure they're better off without each other. But the thing is, when I tried to tell you yesterday, you brushed me off to play beer pong."

He widened his eyes in incredulity. "Is that it? I told you, I was drunk-"

"You really don't understand, do you?" She let out a low laugh. "Everytime I need you, you're never there."

"That's not true! I went to your piano recital!"

"But why did you do it? When I asked you to attend my piano recital, I had to beg you, and only then did you agree to go. No one should have to beg their partner to support them at such a simple event. You never spend time outside of school with me anymore, and if you do, I initiate it. "

He opened his mouth in protest, but she forged on.

"I know you've been busy with football, but that's not the only reason. Tell me, Will, what's my favourite flower?"

"Your favourite flower?" Bewilderment crossed his face. "You never told me."

"I did. Yellow chrysanthemums. And I've always hated roses. I told you all this, the day you asked me out to the school dance in June. 'A yellow chrysanthemum for Emilia,' you said. I remember every word you've said to me, but you can't even remember my favourite flower. Or our monthly anniversary."

"I go to every single one of your games, even though I don't understand the sport. You've never asked me to, but I did it anyway because that's what a girlfriend does for her boyfriend. Support him."

The sun crept out behind the faraway hills, light bleeding out across the sky.

"There was a time when you never would have forgotten my favourite flower or our anniversary. But times change."

"I love you." Will cupped her face in his palms, his shoulders shaking.

"I know." Placing her hands over his, she pulled them away gently. "But you don't care about me anymore."

Sometimes love just wasn't enough.

Emilia put her lips to his cheek for the last time, tasting the saltiness of his tears. She thought she might feel something, sadness, guilt, anger, but a calm had settled over her. Because she knew no matter how long or harsh the winter, spring would always return.

Sunlight bathed the earth in an ethereal glow, illuminating the tips of his hair, limning it in gold. She was reminded of the day when a boy had reached a hand out to tap her on the shoulder. He had the sun in his hair then, too.

"Goodbye, Will." And thank you, for the seasons you gave me.

Squaring her shoulders, she inhaled the cool winter air, rich with the promise of spring. And then she walked away.

Not once did she look back.

A/N

Song: Passing Afternoon by Iron and Wine

The timing was perfect - literally finished writing it when the song ended.

I always knew I wanted this song for the last chapter. It's so nostalgic and sad and beautiful. Another song I had in mind was 'Sad Beautiful Tragic' by Taylor Swift - these three adjectives sum up most broken relationships. To Iron and Wine, for his songs set the perfect vibe for The Seasons of You.

I also knew I didn't want to write a love story. Because sometimes, even the most perfect of relationships don't work out. The message I wanted to express was that love isn't always enough. I contemplated making Will a complete jerk and then crossed that out immediately. It wouldn't fit with the idea of my story. I genuinely believe Will and Emilia love each other, but like a line from One Day goes, "I love you, I just don't like you anymore." Similarly, Will loves Emilia, but he doesn't care for her - the important thing was for me to draw the distinction between them without using extreme events (eg. being cheated on, insulted, hit). Loves fades, it doesn't vanish. That was a process I wanted to illustrate with the letters and contrasting it with the present timeline.

Emilia is really, truly, lonely. And her character arc is that she's doing the right thing for herself, letting herself move on and let go.

I decided to go for an open ending. I didn't want to close her story, because even I am not sure what she would do next. I do ship her with Noah, but then again I can see her focusing more on herself and leaving the dating scene for a few months. I don't think there'll be an epilogue.

Thank you for reading The Seasons of You. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.