spanish nights

chapter four: too close for comfort

Spain; April, 2021.

JAMIE

I was sitting with Talia and Jordan on a couch in the hotel's big entrance hall waiting for the guys to return. My heart instantly started to beat faster when I saw Tim come in, talking and laughing with his friends, which warmed my heart, to see him so happy. Even though I didn't want to accept it, I was still hooked on him; something pulled me towards this man and apparently there was nothing I could do about it. And it certainly didn't help to think we'd be stuck together at the Villa for over a week. I was doing everything in my power to push the previous night's memories to the back of my mind so they wouldn't haunt me and I could just enjoy the wedding preparations with my sister.

The three of them started walking towards us and I involuntarily bit my bottom lip, giving Tim's face a hint of a smile as he kept coming my way. When he arrived, he put a hand in front of me; he was holding a paper bag that smelled divinely of cinnamon. I picked it up, and said: — Thank you, but I hope you know that you don't need to keep giving me treats. — while I smiled at him. He kept looking at me and replied: — I know they're your favorites. By the way, I wanted to have a word with you before we leave for the cake tasting, if you don't mind. — as he speaks, it's as if all that blunt confidence of him was nowhere to be found; but I figured it would be mature of me, for the sake of my sister, to talk, even if I couldn't trust myself around him, I had to try and diffuse this tension going on between us.

— Okay, then. Let's talk. How can I help you? — I said, looking intently at him, and I noticed how surprised he was that I agreed.

— So, I just wanted to check if you're okay after last night and if you're okay with me being in the Villa. It's your sister's wedding, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable; so if you prefer I can stay at the hotel instead. — he bit his lip while waiting for me to say something. I was processing the information, I couldn't know how it would be like to be around him this much, and I didn't expect him to be so considerate of my feelings. But I'll have to be okay, I won't make him stay away from everyone, it's not fair to them, and it's not my place, this trip isn't about me.

I felt it took me forever to answer, he was looking so nervous, his hand scratching his neck. So I finally ended his torture, laughing at how weird it is to have this kind of conversations with him, I'm not used to feel awkward around him, all I have experienced was comfort so that's different.

— Yes, Tim, thanks for looking out for me and I'm sorry for making a fool of myself and for having you stuck in the room with me. — I laughed again, trying to hide how uncomfortable I was for hitting on Rohan and, well, for everything else I did; so I went on: — And about the Villa, I think we should act like adults. I don't wanna worry my sister anymore or to act like a spoiled brat who can't get along with their ex-something. — My heart ached with the ex part. His eyes said so much at that moment; but I couldn't understand it. A part of me wanted to find out what he meant more than anything in the world; another part didn't want to know at all. I ended up deciding that now wasn't the time for this; this trip wasn't about us; that was becoming my personal mantra.

— Are you sure? — he asked and I felt his hands slowly holding mine; he brought our hands, now intertwined, to his lips, and kissed the back of my hand, his eyes as kind as ever never leaving mine, and continued: — I will do what's best for you, Jamie. I care about my friends, but not enough to make you uncomfortable. So whatever you say, goes. — my entire body responded to his kiss, making me feel goosebumps all over. I looked at him and smiled, saying: — Yes, I'm sure. I won't be uncomfortable, but still, I'll probably try to stay away from you. — I laughed and started to bring my hand away from his, already longing to feel his touch again. To both of our surprises, I placed a peck on his cheek, a little too close to his lips.