Friends?

3-Insecurity

Please tell me what you think about this.

Atsushi's POV
As we left the restaurant we went back to the furniture shop to decide some furniture for our living room, we headed to the second floor and Dazai-san immediately ran towards a couch and dropped himself on it.Akutagawa and Chuuya-san looked around for a bit as did I. We finally ended up getting a long couch for four which came with 2 single seater couches. It was made of cotton,covered in a soft cloth material and came with pillows it was grey in colour and would match the house. We then quickly decided on a coffee table that was chocolate brown it had a unique structure and everyone had fallen in love with it. Next we decided on a dining table which was made of metal since we would end up breaking a wooden one it was painted lavender and had a glass top and came with 4 metal chairs with soft cotton seats covered in lavender cloth. We then went down stairs to pay the bill give our address and the day when we would want the stuff to arrive.

Akutagawa's POV
We had finally placed all our orders and Dazai-san paid for it. We had decided to just let things go the way they were after last week's conversation. Chuuya and Atsushi had saved up a lot they barely ate out and spent very less on their selves, they were quite independent and I looked up to them for that. I was proud that they had proven that they didn't need anyone to survive and had given hope to many orphans. I snapped out of my thoughts as I noticed Dazai-san thanking the lady and all of us caught the bus and reached home. It was still only 10:00pm we were all full so we skipped dinner, instead we sat talking about other stuff regarding the house as we lay out our futons and prepared to go to sleep.

Chuuya-san took out a story book and read it while lying down on his futon all three of us immediately understood that we were supposed to leave the guy alone. No offence but I often wondered why did he do that he was the last person who would actually read a whole book. Chuuya-san was quite short tempered so it was hard to believe he suffered from an anxiety disorder, he had his first attack the night after his fifteenth birthday. It was an understatement to say that he scared the living shit out of us, fortunately Dazai-san had quickly recovered and calmly carried out the needful. Chuuya-san was shocked when he was told he had an attack that too a panic attack, after the incident he would sometimes be distant from us for a few days but never longer than a week.

Dazai's POV
Chuuua was having one of his need to be alone things and the three of us respected that, we had engaged in our own activities Akutagawa had gone to check on Ms. Yuri to see if she needed any help while Atsushi cleaned his already spotless cupboard. Sometimes Atsushi just pissed me off, mostly because of the fact that his stuff was always spick and span while mine was a "filthier than shit" according to Chuuya. I'm gonna be honest I was worried for Chuuya hell all of us were worried for him it was quite obvious ,even Ms. Yuri looked highly concerned.

Chuuya often drifted away and close to us like waves do ,but off lately it had reduced like drastically he almost never did it anymore even if he did it was only for a day or a few hours. This time it was different ever since last week's conversation Chuuya seemed drifted away he didn't show it but we could all make out he was putting up a tough front cause he didn't want to ruin us moving in because of his disorder.

I finally sighed keeping my phone on the table, I was just staring at it busy thinking about stuff. We had a few days left before we would move in, we had already ordered the furniture and other electrical appliances and only needed some small other things which we would get after moving in. I sighed internally and slowly drifted off to sleep.

Chuuya's POV
It had been a week and I still felt horrible the insecure feelings of being unwanted, unneeded ,unloved these miserable feelings came back to me and refused to go away it had been a week for God's sake.Throughout the week I tried my level best to behave as less distant as possible but failed miserably.I felt horrible knowing the other three didn't talk much because of me I hated that I was always just a burden, I hated the thought that eventually one day they would leave me, "he" would leave me.I grabbed a random book and placed it over my eyes procrastinating about my feelings I waited and waited my eyes glued to the book until Dazai finally slept followed by Atsushi and Akutagawa. After that tears ran down my face this didn't happen sinces ages I didn't cry since ages last time I recall myself pathetically sobbing was when I was fifteen.
I hated being vulnerable and weak I despised myself for being like this. Whenever I had these crying sessions of mine I didn't sleep until the next morning that was also when either I heard Dazai or Ms.Yuri wake up.

The same was for tonight I wept and wept until dawn when I heard Dazai wake up I shoved me head further into the pillow and my blanket not daring to make even a single sound I calmed my breathing and slowly fell asleep.

To be continued............
Sorry for any grammar errors and spelling mistakes .