Painful Love >▪︎<[ Jayhoon ] >▪︎< Enhypen

▪︎ As someone else

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"Jongseong, can I come in ? "

"Yes!"

It was Sunghoon dad who nocked on his room door " We.. need to talk about something, can you spare some time and come join me in my work room"
If he asked him to go there it means they were going to discuss something important.
"Sure, um, I will be there in a minute "
"Perfect, I will head down first" he closed the door behind him.
Deep inside of Jay's mind he kind of knew what was the concern .
They were going to talk about 'His adoption'
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Today Sunghoon had invited some of his friends who were also his classmates, they were going to study and prepare for the final exams
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Now he was talking on the phone with one of them.
He went down the stairs and to where Jay was

"Alright I will be on the door waiting then"
"Hmm, see yea" he approached Jay while talking until he was right behind him.

He stood there staring at his back remembering that one time when they had promised his mom to clean the kitchen but instead they enjoyed their time by playing with the heavy lather splashing it on each others faces, and ended making a huge mess.
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Jay was washing the dishes to occupy his mind abit.
When suddenly someone snatched the plate from his hand and threw it in the sink making him startle.

"Today you will stay in your room" Sunghoon coldly told him

"Just what are you talking about" Jay not so interested.
He leaned with his face closer "You..heard me" being serious.
Jay now faced him " Why would I?" this was ridiculous.
"My friends will come to study here and I don't want you to show up! Am I being clear now? "
"That's not my problem" Jay wasn't cooperating.
"Don't get on my nerves and do what I say for once !!"
"Why, why should I always hide myself !?" Jay demanded an answer
"Cause they can't know you live here too"

Maybe it was time to tell him

"No, I think you should get used to seeing me around, instead of hiding me everytime someone come to visit"

"Why are you so confident now" Sunghoon was mocking him.
"Is this what you talked about with my dad this morning? about you staying with us ! do you think we really want you between us ? It's only out of pity" Now this was something really not nice to say, it hurted Jay, he was going to leave.

Sunghoon followed him"I'm not done talking!"
"And I don't care !" Jay's eyes become teary.
He pulled Jay from his coller
"Can't you see how much it pain me too, I just wish you would stop dreaming and try to understand me more "
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Jay moved his hand from him "Fine.. I will stay in my room" not wanting to bother him with his existence anymore
"You better do so"
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Sunghoon's friends arrived.

He lead them to the sitting room they were going to stay there since Sunghoon's room was small and all of them can't fit in.
Their laughter was heared, a person cannot tell if they were really studying or playing games
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Jays stomach growled, he was hungry it was past lunch time and he didn't have anything since this morning, he thought he could just go out and grab something quickly from the fridge, without getting noticed by  anyone .
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He walked on his tip toes trying to make the lowest sound.
And went to the kitchen
Opening the fridge, he picked some of the fruits and closed it door slowly, as he was turning around
His eyes met with Sunghoon's angry ones, he dropped everything from his hand
"Sungho.."
"Shhh" A hand was on his mouth and his head was pushed harshly to the fridge
"Was it really that hard to listen?" Sunghoon growled in anger

"Jay ?"
What are you doing here "
They both looked at the one who was talking now.
Sunghoon immediately let go of him.
"Oh wait don't tell me, Sunghoon's parents are your reall foster family, right?!"

Not caring to answer
Sunghoon too furious dragged Jay to his own room
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"I asked you nicely to stay in your f*cking room !!" he screamed in rage at Jay's face
Jay crossed his arms and looked away
"You can't make me stay in my room all day "

"I can do whatever I want!, and I will keep tormenting you while you live here until you feel what I feel !!"

"Just Stop! why do you hate me so much!!?"

"Hate you?
That's it I am locking you here"
Jay's crossed arm hanged on his side "Y-you can't!"
"Watch me"
He was already on the door heading out
"No!"
Jay rushed stopping sunghoon, pulling him from his shoulder and away from the door .
"Aagh!! enough!!" Sunghoon ended hitting him hard with his elbow on the face making him fall on the ground.

"Agh" Jay who fell on his butt, he touched his cheek

Sunghoon stopped himself looking at what he did.

"The Sunghoon I know would never hurt me like this"Jay showed him his sad eyes.
"Do you want to know why I keep hurting you do you really want to know??
"WHY, WHY ?"Jay screamed back
"Because you are not the same Jay I knew before, you don't know how much I hate seeing you weak, seeking pity from everyone when I was actualy there for you, you proved our friendship was not enough for you.
You think I didn't hear your cries every single night! the only reason I did not came to confort you is because you probably waited for my parents cause that's who you needed at that time not me !.
The only one who ruined our friendship was you and now you want to become a part of my family, I don't want any siblings I don't want you to be my friend anymore..
I want you only.." he stopped here, catching his breath, his chest was tightened from the pain he was holding inside of his heart all this time.
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"W-what?" Jay's voice shaked "you want me what ?" He stood up
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Sunghoon eyed him for a second "You are so dumb, couldn't figure it out yourself all this time "

He walked to the door again, glancing at Jay one more time before locking him inside his bedroom.
"Sunghoon.. wait !!"Jay too desperate wanted to know so badly what Sunghoon meant by he wanted him only!, he was going crazy, just when Sunghoon was about to tell he backed away again, he wasn't being transparent nor honest .
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Jay spent the rest of the day crying he was still locked inside that same room.
He lied on Sunghoon's bed hugging the pilow.
And memory's fleed into his mind again
"No I don't want to remember anymore"

It did hurt him after knowing the person who made him feel so special one day is the same one who make him feel unwanted today.
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Sunghoon finaly decided to enter his room and sleep too, after calming down, but he did it discretly in order to not wake Jay.
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Jay was lying on his bed, he forget to cover himself, and probably passed out from crying.

Sunghoon went next to the bed, staring at his face.
There were some undried tears still on his cheek
He whipped them with his thumb
And leaned closer
kissing the cheek he had hurted today.
Then lied down on top of him hugging him to warm his body with his.
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He tightened the hug and whispered next to Jay's ear.
"I am really tired ......
this love is tiering me .....

and you are the reason"
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