KamiyaJuu x Shrek

chapter 1: the meeting

I wake up covered in mud and land seaweed.. landweed? Weed? Whatever. I wake up covered in mud and weed. I scan my surroundings and see that I am indeed in a swamp, drenched and dirtied by mud. I try to stand up, but that is when I hear the ugliest shreak I have ever heard in my life.

I look up to the source of the shrill shreak. And that is when my eyes landed on the most beautiful and green swamp creature I have ever seen. My heart rate begins to increase, a newfound excitement rising inside of me. I feel a feeling that I usually feel around money. Am I just into green stuff, then? Is that a fetish? 🤔

Suddenly, all the previous built-up suspense and plot points are erased because I got isekai'd by Truck-kun into Shrek's swamp. They seem familiar, I think in the back of my head, but I can't seem to name where I have seen them before.

"Who the hell are you? What are you doing in my swamp?" The green goddess questions me, picking me up from the back of my homeless man hoodie. "I don't know. You tell me, daddy~😩 I mean, *coughs* I don't know how I got here."

Our eyes meet in a suspenseful staring contest full of tension. He probably sees the genuine-ity in my eyes because he lets go of me the next second, and I fall bcoz dat iz dah how gravyti works 👉👈.

"Whatever. Just get the hell out of my swamp before I kick you to the next century." I moan😩 at the threat, oh gosh, he's so gorejuice, I wouldn't mind being kicked by him🥵. I cough, mustering up my best i k e m e n voice. "I need to stay at your home for a while. I don't know where I am."

He laughs at this, absolutely ✨disbelieved✨. "No." He tells me straightforwardly and turns around to leave. "NOOOOOOOWJJSKAKA!" I reach out for him, accidentally touching his 🍑butt🍑. Oh no. 😳🤭🤭

He slaps his butt and we both start laughing out of nowhere. XDDD

"SENPAI YOU HENTAI 😝😝" I feel glad I touched him, but also why do I feel like my life is so miserable right now??? I have sudden flashbacks to toilet-chan.. to septic tank... to my simps.. am I cheating on them?

But I am so distracted by the sweet aroma of Shark's farts💨 that I forget about my septic tank and I focus on this moment I am having with this Shrexy man.

"What is your name, Shrexy?" I ask him with curiosity and he bends down to my level. Our faces inch closer to each other as our orbs seem to be hypnotized by the bright and biolumimisent and radioactive that is the reflection of the ocean orbs. I can feel his breath on my lips when.... I SLAP HIM!!! 😱😱😱

"What are you doing you baka? You baka baka sweet hot son of a bitch baka." I run, crying, I feel so violated. My balls jingle with every step I take (because i brought tennis balls with me, duh). And I run and I run until I punch a random homeless man in the face.

Then suddenly, I drop to my knees. "..who are you?" The homeless man asks me, blood leaving his nostrils. "AKO SI KAMIYAJUU AT AKO ANG MAGIGING SAIKYOU NA VTUBER!!" I answer him enthusiastically, he's about to ask for help when I begin ranting about my love life.

I punch him again before saying goodbye kindly and I walk back to Shrek's swamp and I knock on his portable toilet. He isn't inside his portable toilet, so instead he goes inside his septic tank and enters his portable toilet through the toilet and he opens the door for me. 💩💩

"Fine, I'll let you live here, if you..."