Praised to be a mom- A Marina Story

Chapter 3

Sofias POV:

I woke up and was immediately startled. There he was, looking at me. When he noticed that I was awake, he immediately put his finger to his mouth, my signal to be quiet. I did what he asked and said nothing. Next he signals me that I should come with him. I hesitated a bit for fear of what would happen, but I know exactly what would happen if I didn't do what he said, either way sucks. I get up carefully and go to him, he puts his hand on my back, I flinch a bit my hopes high that he doesn't notice, but I was happy too soon. Of course he noticed. I feel his hand leaving my back and they quickly meet again. I try to stay calm and not let the pain show, but it burns. I can feel tears forming in my eyes, but I try to blink them away. He opens the door and pushes me out of the room, I search the hallway for help, for anyone looking at me, but nothing. The nurses are all busy with their work and there is hardly a patient in sight, but then I catch a glimpse of them out of the corner of my eye. Maya. She is talking to yesterday's doctor. Just as we are walking past them, Maya speaks to us.

 "Sofia, we got worried when you ran away." I just look at her, tears forming in my eyes again. Shit I think to myself. He'll think it's because of him, I mean of course it's because of him, but the moment I was running I wasn't thinking about him. Both Maya and the doctor look at me and I feel him pinching my back, I know I have to answer but I can't. I gather all my strength to get a sentence out. 

"I know and I'm sorry I wasn't thinking, but running helps me sort my thoughts. I know it's dangerous to just run away like that. I'm sorry." Maya looks at me, I can't tell what her expression means. It shows confusion, compassion and anger but I'm not sure. I can hear the adults talking but I've learned that as soon as he says something I don't have to listen anymore, so I don't do it either. I start playing with my fingers, scratching them a bit, it distracts me. When they were done he squeezed my back. My signal that I can go, so I go, he shows me the way. The way to a storage room. Damned.

Carina POV:

I woke up the next morning next to my wife. Damn, that's not how I imagined our anniversary or the evening. I turn around and see that she is still sleeping soundly and decide to stay in bed for a while, I have absolutely no strength to get up, yesterday was just a very difficult day. First the argument with Maya, then the sight of the girl and her mother and then the loss of her mother. I never knew what it felt like to lose a mom and I never want to feel that feeling again. I really need to find out why I lost this mom, I can't understand how it happened. Trapped in my thoughts I don't realize that Maya is already awake, it's only when she speaks to me that I realize she's not sleeping anymore 

"Baby what are you thinking about?" I just look at her, unable to speak and realize how a tear or two running down my cheeks. Without saying anything, Maya sits down with me and hugs me, she knows exactly what calms me down. As I try to get my breathing to stabilize again, I listen to her heartbeat and notice her slowing down her breathing so I can match mine with hers. This moment just shows me how well she knows me and how much I love her. No matter what happened a moment ago, as soon as she notices that I'm feeling bad, she's there and she knows what I need.

Mayas POV:

When I wake up the next morning, I look around and see that Carina is already awake, I notice how irregular her breathing is. I know she's caught up in her thoughts. I speak to her but she doesn't respond. She only responds after the fifth time. She turns around and tears run down her cheeks. I know what that means. She blames her for the mom's death but it wasn't her fault and deep down she knows it too. I hug her, hopefully that calms her down. I try to slow down my breathing so she can adjust hers. Fortunately that always works. After a few minutes I notice how calm she is. 

"What were you thinking about beautiful?" I ask her, although of course I know the answer, but just like me, she sometimes closes herself off and always tries to clarify everything with herself - not a healthy way of course. I notice how she thinks about whether she should say what is bothering her or not. I willingly show that I'm there for you so I gently squeeze her arms. She looks at me and takes a deep breath. 

"I just can't explain how that happened. Why the mom died. I don't know what I did wrong." I carefully turn her head towards me so that she looks into my eyes. 

"Baby you didn't do anything wrong, it was just too late for the woman. Maybe we were there too late. No one can know that, but what I do know is that you did everything you could do. It's not your fault." She looks at me, then at the floor and nods. I take her in my arms again. 

"Try to get some more sleep" again she nods and I can see that she closes her eyes. I give her a kiss on the forehead. 

"I love you"

 "I love you too bambina"

AN: What do you think so far? please let me know :)